13 seasons

I am sitting here trying to gather up the strength to coach the last game of my HS Varsity coaching career. I think back to 13 years ago when I coached my first ever varsity game against Raritan. I can remember it like it was yesterday with Lauren Smolensky scoring the winning goal as we beat them 1-0. As I remember that game, history has a way of repeating itself as I will end my career at MHSS ar Raritan as well today, on that exact same football field that is well taken care of. When I think back, I am just flooded with emotions. I have had a blast coaching. it has never been about the money but purely the love of the sport and more importantly the relationships I have made along the way. I run into former players all of the time and still try and help them get jobs, retain jobs, talk with them etc. Some I am proud to call good friends. Most of them never played beyond HS. I know every parent believes that their child is going to be the next great thing and will get a scholarship to the college of their choice, but that is not the case. In reality HS Sports are just HS sports. It is a time for kids to have fun, represent their school, make friends and have lasting memories. Sure a couple state chapmionships are fun too! I do not even know where are state tournament plaques are, I never even looked at them. I actually never even think about it... what I think about is the girls... What are they doing now? Are they happy? Are they on their way to accomplishing their goals etc? As I look back on the last 13 years. I remember the laughs, and the relationships made. I am proud to have been able to coach the girls for such a long time, and am sad to let them go. My kids need me at home now after school so this difficult decision had to be made. I will miss the laughs and the tears, and the hugs. I cant think of a better way to spend August. September, and October( and yes in some years even November). Thanks Girls

It has been about 5 months since my last post

I had one of my former students stop in today to see me to remind me to update my blog. Turns out he found it and has been reading, so Steve this ones for you. I was quite busy this summer with the kids and soccer, it was over in a flash and a new school year began. This will be the last year that i will be the Middletown South soccer coach. It is sad to even put it into print because so much of my identity at school has been wrapped up in soccer. So much of my life has been soccer, so to break off this huge piece is actually going to be quite difficult. I am still going to coach my kids and do some training but it will not be the same. Change is hard but necessary. I think we all would like to stay where we are because it is comfortable, it is what we know, I know my former student would like to rewind back, if only for a moment to that comfortable place we call HS. I had my 20 year reunion last weekend and boy was it fun. Seeing everyone after 20 years made me think back to how much fun I had in HS, when there was no responsibility and life was carefree. I think we all felt that way. So one may wonder, why am I dreading giving up the team.. I guess I have finally admitted to myslef that I just can't do it all. I can't do something and not do it well, so I have bitten off way more thank i can chew and coaching the HS team is getting in the way of my being a good parent. So I have to end it. My last home game is Thursday and I know the seniors and their parents will be crying as it will be the last time they wear the Blue and gray. AS for me, I still cant imagine being introduced at school as just a teacher. I was Coach K and now I am coach Haar for the next couple weeks. Soon there will be a new generation of students that only know me as the Psychology teacher. I guess I am losing part of my identity and it scares me. It scares me because it signifies that i am getting older, and I am.. I will be 39 in a few months. I feel as though i am invincible and can still conquer every task so why am I breaking off the piece of me, for my kids, I do not want to miss their sporting events or music lessons or whatever else they do. My schedule is at the will of the AD, someone I cant control, who can change my game time on a Saturday from 10:00 am to 2pm on a moments notice, not knowing or caring that I have 12 little boys that are counting on me to coach them at 2pm. So I guess I am ready for the new me. MOM, and teacher and I guess that is enough even for an egomanic like myself. I would rather do 2 things excellent that 3 very good. So that is it for now, I will try to update more frequently especially after our last home game on thursday

Another one is just about over!

Another one is another school year. I can't believe that we are just about done with this school year and how fast it all goes. I really had a good time teaching this year, and my classes were great. I am reminded how lucky I am that, I have a job that I really enjoy going to each day. The kids are doing fantastic. mackenzie's dance recital is coming up soon and she is very excited. We are also heading off to Florida on June 22. I cant wait to get away from it all. My mom's pool is open so the kids are either at her house or the beach each day and they are having a blast in the summer heat. All three are doing great and they are all very special, I love them so much and think they are the best kids on the planet. I am really looking forward to spending our summers together! Summer of 2008 is almost here.

AP exams are over

Well my seniors took the Advanced placement psychology exam and told me they thought it was easy! That is a great compliment because I never know what questions will be on the exam because it is a national test. If they pass the exam they will receive 3 college credits! Every year my students do really well and 95% or more pass, but I still worry. I am hoping for 100% this year! I will report back in July when the scores are released. The kids are doing great, but I am burned out from all of the soccer training. Mothers day was great last weekend, I got some much needed R and R. I cant wait to spend the spa gift card given to me by my husband. I cant wait for the weekend which is almost here!

My letter was in the paper and here it is!

Early intervention makes a difference
Thanks to all the wonderful therapists from Ladacin, the Visiting Nurses Association of Monmouth County and Shore Rehabilitation.
Two and a half years ago, I recognized there was something wrong with my son. He was almost 7 months old and still needed head support, did not reach for objects and did not eat more than 2 ounces at a time.
So I made that phone call, difficult for all parents, to the state's Early Intervention System. The evaluation showed he was severely delayed. I was told kids like Alex do not walk until they are 2, always will be more clumsy than their peers and would not be able to play contact sports.
Alex received speech, physical, occupational and developmental therapy at home five days a week from lovely ladies who pushed him beyond his limits.
My husband left his job as a full-time special education teacher to be a stay-at-home dad for Alex and my other two children and worked on all the exercises.
Together, all of these special people "cured" my son.
That's what early intervention is all about — therapists and families working together to produce the best possible outcome for the affected child.
Alex is running, jumping and climbing with his peers, is starting soccer and hockey, has gained weight and is a typical child because of the help and support he received from his therapists.
I am proud of him and urge parents to call early intervention if they notice major delays with their children. With stimulation and therapy, young children can make drastic improvements. Thank you to all who made this possible.
KRISTEN HAAR

They are-- not there. I have to learn to proof read

They are-- not there. I have to learn to proof read

There are in school now!

So all three of my kids are in school. Alex had his first day on Monday. He loved it! His day is 2 1/2 hours and he has gym everyday, so I am sure it is his favorite part. John is going on a class trip with Alex's class to Turtle back zoo on May 30th. It is nice that he will get to chaperone for Alex's class. Dylan went back to school after his week off. he loves school and does terrific. mackenzie has 1 month of preschool left and then she will be offically in grade school Kindergarten next year. John is doing his demo lesson today to a group of 4th graders. I am so nervous for him. I am probably more nervous then he is so we will see what happens!! Hopefully I will have some good news to report soon

Stitches for Alex part deux

Well it happened again. On friday night I dropped Mackenzie off at my moms, and the boys and I went to Fridays for dinner. Now I know it was 730 and I should have went home but I wanted a few nachos. So as we are sitting at the table, Alex goes to look out the window and lost his balance( poor truncal and head control) and bamm, hits his face. He is hysterical crying and I see blood. Not a massive amount but I saw a big gapping gash by his eye. So it was off to the emergency room, we waited for a plastic surgeon to stich up his face and he was home sleeping by 1am. This is when i get upset. "it" came back.... He has been doing great and has exceeded every expectation, he has no limits but, is more prone to injury. How many kids do you have to say...."control that head Alex"? Only those that are in the same boat as him. I am hoping that like everything else, he rebounds from his falls and gets stronger in the process. I just don't know how many more trips to the ER one can take. they are going to call DYFS on me!!

Welocme to the Weekend!

So I am sure the kids did the blast off dance in the care this morning. i got to witness the weekly ritual last week since we had vacation. It is very funny to hear the three kids sing the entire welcome to the weekend song. Alex even knows his days of the week. I had a parent teacher conference for Dylan, my first grader and was basically told all of the stuff that parents want to hear. he is extremely bright, he knows all of his multiplication tables and is a great reader and speller. She told me that dylan was very funny and has a great little personality. So I walked out of there very happy. We decided that she is going to go to a full day kindergarten next year. She has been in full day preschool for the past 2 years and I do not want her to regress. So we will pay for her to attend kindergarten, and she will stay at the same Catholic school for atleast 1 more year. Most of the teachers I have talked to agreed and have done the same thing themselves. I even talked to teachers that work in our public school, and they still sent their child to full day kindergarten and they had no child care issues. So I am going with my gut, and forking over the 4300 dollars for her to have the benefits of full day kindergarten. This weekend is quite busy. Alex has soccer tomorrow, dylan has a baseball scrimmage. Sunday is just as busy between Alex's mite Hockey and Dylans lacrosse. mackenzie has her dance classes during the week and will start soccer again in the summer. That is it for now!

So much news

This past week has been a whirlwind to say the least. It started with a phone call at school last Thursday from Alex's ENT. He wanted another associate to take a look at the swollen lymph node in Alex's neck, after reading his CT scan. he told me it was not a big deal, just wanted to make sure. So we made an appointment for weds 3/26 at 8am. On Saturday morning we left for Williamburg Va and had a blast. We got home on tuesday night. So we take Alex to his appointment and the specialist, refers us to an oncologist. Well that was frightening no parent ever wants to have to take their kid to that doctor. On Friday morning we had Alex's preschool eligibility meeting, and fully thinking he was not going to qualify for special education, low and behold he did qualify. So he will begin pre school next month. there are alot of mixed emotions there. but he still needs OT, and I guess he has some delays in other areas that I am not picking up on. Then we go to the oncologist for a 3 and 1/2 hour visit. She thinks he looks good, and does not think it is the C word, so there is no need to cut it out. At busch gardens, Dylan my oldest who just turned 7 went on all of the big roller coasters! Even the ones that went upside down!! It was so much fun. All three of my kids ate a hooters restaurant and loved it. they all have shirts that they wear with pride! My daughter mackenzie went under water at the hotel pool, so overall the week was a roller coaster ride from start to finish!

Vacation!

Easter vacation yeah! After today i do not go back to work until 3/31/08. I love Easter break, because once we go back to school it is smooth sailing from then on. June 17th will be here before I know it and then summer is here. My oldest turns 7 tomorrow- wow 7 years where did the time go. We had is Bday party on Sunday and 18 kids were there all having a great time. the family is going on a 7 hour journey to Williamburg Va and busch gardens. We are going for 4 days and we leave Saturday, the kids are so excited. I find out on March 28th is Alex qualifies for preschool. i do not think he will, so I am trying not to think about it too much. If he does not get in we will send him 3 half days per week to a local montessori school. Well thats it for now! I plan on enjoying the next 10 days!

Will he get in??

So Alex has finished all of his evals for the preschool. So here is the question, will he qualify or not. To think there is a greater chance that he will not qualify is unbelievable. I want him to qualify because he still needs OT. He does not need any additional services. The school is an integrated on where typical kids ( who get in by lottery) are educated alongside of those with minimal special needs( speech etc), and it is free. So if Alex qualifies, he goes to a free preschool with his peers, if he does not qualify then we can hope he is one of the 10% that get in by lottery. So here is the thing.... I want him to qualify, because I never hit the lottery( well technically with Alex I did, as he is one of the 5% whose Cp is virtually( I say virtually for a reason) unnoticeable. You see we were in the hospital this weekend because Alex got his thumb caught in the door. He pulled it out and it looked as though he dislocated his thumb. You see, he dislocates his joints more easily than others because they are lax. They are lax because of "his condition" so as we are told his conditioned is no longer dectable ,"it"-comes back and says"I am still here", in ways such as the dislocated thumb. But I would take that any day of the week. So we wait until our appointment on March 28th to see if he qualifies. Is he 33% delayed, is it enough to qualify if only his OT scores are low? We will find out. I am anticipating leaving that meeting being both happy and sad regardless of the out come. If he qualifies, I will be happy because he will go to the preschool and it wont cost us anything, but sad because he will qualify which indicates they detect something wrong. if he does not get in- I will be sad because we will have to fork over 5000 for preschool, but happy because he is deemed okay by the school. See my dilemma here. I guess in the end it does not matter, Alex is very special and I know that. I do not need a school district to tell me that

my amazing kids

I know I always brag about my children, but I truly think that they are all very special. Dylan is a great little athlete and is very bright. He loves his teacher and his class. He is in the gifted enrichment program and is smart as hell! He was up watching survivor last night with me.This is the only show on TV that i watch! and was so disappointed that chet did not get voted out. he said.." but mommy he is the weakest and needs to leave the tribe!" It is nice to be 6 where everything is so cut and dry like that. i did not have the heart to tell him that due to social reasons a big strong guy got voted out. He just couldn't understand it. One day he is going to have to deal with unfair social situations, and I hope he fairs well. Mackenzie is 5 going on 15. She is a beautiful little girl, and lvoes to be the center of attention( I wonder where she gets that from?) She is also very bright and loves preschool, she can't wait to go to kindergarten next year. For some starnge reason she thinks she is in a competetion with me constantly. I bought my self socks at cosco that had cute patters( not just plain white) and she immediately became annoyed, because there were none available in her size. If this is what it is like at 5 I wonder how she will be as a teenager, she will probably push my buttons constantly. Alex- well what can I say that has not already been said, he is my miracle. He is so confident and determined. He wont let me even unzip his coat.. "I do it myself" that is his battle cry. He wants to eat with chopsticks, he is just too much. He starts daddy and me floor hockey ( I know he wont be 3 until the end of April) on Sunday. I cant believe it, I will probably cry on Sunday when he hits the floor with the other 3 year olds. He will be playing a contact sport( yes I know they have plastic sticks and felt balls but for those that know my journey, you know this is a HUGE deal) with other children his own age, something we did not dream would be possible, but hey, in this life... Anything is possible... We can all thank Alex for teaching us that.

School Daze

Well today has been the most boring day of school ever. You see it is the start of the 3 day HSPA testing. We teachers have to spend 3-4 hours each morning proctoring students. Which means we sit and stare at them. I am not kidding it is the worst thing ever. I dread these days alot, I am sure way more than the kids do. Sitting still never came easy to me and it still doesn't. We are going to busch gardens ver soon for easter break. i cant wait. i just wish Dylan had the same break as the rest of us. Dylan does not get his week off of school until the passover week. So he will miss one day of school to accompany us to Virginia. The kids are quite excited about the trip. Alex starts daddy and me floor hockey next week, and kenzie and Dylan are getting better and better each week on ice skates. Dylan starts up lacrosse and baseball soon as well. It looks to be a busy spring, but summer is right around the corner. The kids are already asking about the pool and Alex wants to jump off the diving board. he will do it oo, he has no fear!

It's been a while...

Wow where do I start? perhaps the best day of my life this year occured on fenruary 7th. I took Alex for his pediatric orthopedic appointment, and the doctor told me his hemiplegia is no longer detectable. He also told me that Alex can play contact sports like all other kids, and we should not put any more restrictions on him. This is amazing stuff.... During the past 2 years we have been told that our little boy, would always be weaker than his peers, will require special education, and have a dectable difference between his right and left side. He has also been diagnosed with Static encephalopathy( AKA Cerebral Palsy), hemiplegia, dysphagia, Sensory integration disorder, moderate hypotonia, I may be forgetting a thing or two. From the beginning any parents who hears their child will not be normal goes through the grieivng process. I probably spent over 1000 dollars on books alone-- The brain that changes itself is by far the best one, and I feel single handedly changed the course of my sons life. I have cried alot of tears, but mostly have channelled my abundance of ADD energy into one thing... fixing my boy. My family played a big part. My husband quit his job and playes catch with Alex everyday, he made him to wheelbarrows constantly and most importantly got him to speak and eat. I guess we did not need the extra private speech therapist- Thanks mom for forking over the dough for her though. My mom was always supportive and always reassuring, and gave up work to accompany me on visits, probably in case I heard horrible news she could drive home. Aunt sammi for being the best God mother on the planet. Uncle Tommy for always noticing the good things that Alex does, and pointing out the weakness so i am aware of it. But the two people most responsible are Dylan and Mackenzie- he wants to be just like them, and thanks to them never treating him like a baby, he is.
I want to get his story out to Parents..... Do not give up on your child. The medical field is changing constantly. Neuroscience is fascinating. had alex lived during a different time, the outcome may not be positive, he still might be sitting in the infant seat watching TV, but we live in a time when determination and hard work can make the brain change. There are walking examples everyday.. I am just happy that my boy is one of them.