13 seasons

I am sitting here trying to gather up the strength to coach the last game of my HS Varsity coaching career. I think back to 13 years ago when I coached my first ever varsity game against Raritan. I can remember it like it was yesterday with Lauren Smolensky scoring the winning goal as we beat them 1-0. As I remember that game, history has a way of repeating itself as I will end my career at MHSS ar Raritan as well today, on that exact same football field that is well taken care of. When I think back, I am just flooded with emotions. I have had a blast coaching. it has never been about the money but purely the love of the sport and more importantly the relationships I have made along the way. I run into former players all of the time and still try and help them get jobs, retain jobs, talk with them etc. Some I am proud to call good friends. Most of them never played beyond HS. I know every parent believes that their child is going to be the next great thing and will get a scholarship to the college of their choice, but that is not the case. In reality HS Sports are just HS sports. It is a time for kids to have fun, represent their school, make friends and have lasting memories. Sure a couple state chapmionships are fun too! I do not even know where are state tournament plaques are, I never even looked at them. I actually never even think about it... what I think about is the girls... What are they doing now? Are they happy? Are they on their way to accomplishing their goals etc? As I look back on the last 13 years. I remember the laughs, and the relationships made. I am proud to have been able to coach the girls for such a long time, and am sad to let them go. My kids need me at home now after school so this difficult decision had to be made. I will miss the laughs and the tears, and the hugs. I cant think of a better way to spend August. September, and October( and yes in some years even November). Thanks Girls

It has been about 5 months since my last post

I had one of my former students stop in today to see me to remind me to update my blog. Turns out he found it and has been reading, so Steve this ones for you. I was quite busy this summer with the kids and soccer, it was over in a flash and a new school year began. This will be the last year that i will be the Middletown South soccer coach. It is sad to even put it into print because so much of my identity at school has been wrapped up in soccer. So much of my life has been soccer, so to break off this huge piece is actually going to be quite difficult. I am still going to coach my kids and do some training but it will not be the same. Change is hard but necessary. I think we all would like to stay where we are because it is comfortable, it is what we know, I know my former student would like to rewind back, if only for a moment to that comfortable place we call HS. I had my 20 year reunion last weekend and boy was it fun. Seeing everyone after 20 years made me think back to how much fun I had in HS, when there was no responsibility and life was carefree. I think we all felt that way. So one may wonder, why am I dreading giving up the team.. I guess I have finally admitted to myslef that I just can't do it all. I can't do something and not do it well, so I have bitten off way more thank i can chew and coaching the HS team is getting in the way of my being a good parent. So I have to end it. My last home game is Thursday and I know the seniors and their parents will be crying as it will be the last time they wear the Blue and gray. AS for me, I still cant imagine being introduced at school as just a teacher. I was Coach K and now I am coach Haar for the next couple weeks. Soon there will be a new generation of students that only know me as the Psychology teacher. I guess I am losing part of my identity and it scares me. It scares me because it signifies that i am getting older, and I am.. I will be 39 in a few months. I feel as though i am invincible and can still conquer every task so why am I breaking off the piece of me, for my kids, I do not want to miss their sporting events or music lessons or whatever else they do. My schedule is at the will of the AD, someone I cant control, who can change my game time on a Saturday from 10:00 am to 2pm on a moments notice, not knowing or caring that I have 12 little boys that are counting on me to coach them at 2pm. So I guess I am ready for the new me. MOM, and teacher and I guess that is enough even for an egomanic like myself. I would rather do 2 things excellent that 3 very good. So that is it for now, I will try to update more frequently especially after our last home game on thursday