Panic Attack!

Well i never thought I would have a full blown panic attack but here goes... Last week I started getting chest pains and shortness of breath out of nowhere. I even left my spin class early on Sunday because I wanted to get aspirin in case i was having a heart attack. So the on Tuesday, I called the doctor and he did an ekg on me and said that I seem to strong to be afflicted by anxiety. he said that I handled jail and a marathon, and thought my chest pains were due to pulling a chest muscle. So after a week of being scared to death about my husband and kids. John had a student threaten to kill him( yes the kid is 11 but has gang ties!!) the kid went at him with a stapler and then keyed up our car with it. Not normal kids right!! The kid only received 2 weeks suspension. Do you believe it. He will actually be placed back in my husbands classroom. Then I founf out that this kid has a younger sibling at dylans school and sees John pick up dylan every day. So yes a gang kid knows who my son ( 5 yrs old) is. I am paranoid, and tell john to pick up dylan 15 minutes early each day. This kid is suppossed to be on house arrest mind you, and is probably going to jamesburg jail next month. His own mother wants him in jail. What does that tell you. So John is miserable at work and I am paraniod that something will happen to him or my kids. I still have Alex's hearing eval on Weds and it is just so much stress it is unbelieveable. So I read the paper on Thursday morning about the Asbury school shooting and it did it. I started walking around school like a zombie and then proceeded to lose my breath and my throat felt as if it were closing. I got my friend Bob to help me and we called my mom. I was faint and dizzy and incoherent for about 1 hour. It was aweful. So there it was a full blown panick attack. i teach about these things but have yet to experience it... not anymore. They suck. Then I take Alex to the docs on friday and the doctor sat with us for 40 minutes. I love her and proceeded to tell me that Alex also has macrocephaly( abnormally large head) and it could all be realted to this still yet to be named syndrome due to his static encephalopathy. She also thinks Alex will be better off with one on one care. 18 months to 3 yrs is critical for language. Since John hates his jobs this is an easy decision.. he can stay with Alex and the kids and look for another time while on leave. If he finds another job-- great and if not atleast he still has one if needed. the only downside is pulling the kids out of the school that they are in and Dylan will have to change kindergartens mid year. And we have to live on my salary for a about 6 months. I think it will be okay. Who knows. I guess anyone who ventures to read this can see why I had a panic attack. there really is just so much the human body can take both mentally and physically.

ON a roll!

Well my soccer team has been on a roll. We have won the last 4 games and went from 1-6-1 to 5-6-2 in the last 2 weeks. Winning makes everything so much better and easier to deal with. The kids have been great. Dylan and mackenzie both love their respective schools and Alex is very happy at the babysitters house. It is starting to get a bit easier each day. Today after practice, i am going to casa comida with a bunch of work friends. What can be better than a great margarita and a big plate of nachos? I can't think of one thing! My mouth is watering already! I know I have to miss the gym today but I will make up for it tomorrow with 3 minutes of hard cardio followed by 1 hour of a weight lifting class, and Sunday with 60 minutes of Spin. Spin class is the hardest class ever, you feel like you are going to die during it and when it is over, you leave a wet sweaty mess, but I love it! I cant wait for teacher convention week. 4 glorious days off- what will i do with myself! I do not know as of yet but can't wait to find out

What else can one take??

Well Monday was suppossed to be a lovely day off. Alex had a check up at the ENT to see how the tubes in his ears were working and for a follow up hearing test, We all figured that fluid was the reason for his flat tympanograms, so I did not even think of it as a major deal. Well it is a major deal. he still has a moderate hearing loss. We have to get one of those sedated hearing tests where the put electrodes on his head to see if he has senory neural hearing loss. The doctor said he might need a hearing aid as well. How much more can this poor little guy take. Well actually it is me, his mom. How much more can I take? I do not know. Between teaching, coaching, and being a mom life is difficult enough, please do not let him be hearing impaired. Both for my sake and his. he already receives alot of therapy as it is. So now we will get speech 2 times a week from early intervention. Thats it for now