MRI???

WEll we had our much anticipated Neurology visit on Thursday. The doctor seems a bit concerned about the size of Alex's head and that he has some veins in his forhead that are prominent. So he said we can not avoid the MRI any longer. It will be pedi day stay at the hospital. He will then discuss the results with me the next day by phone. I have not found out when we are going, but the appointment will be set within the next 6 weeks. I am trying not to worry. But try googling, hypotonia, macrocephaly and prominent or bulging forehead veins, and see what you find! I asked him again about the static encephalopathy diagnosis, and he said- yes that is what he has. I asked about CP and the doc told me that he does not like to use that for Alex's condition, he said Alex would have hypotonic CP, but prefers static encephalopathy as well. I guess the MRI will tell all. My little guy is doing great. he says about 100 words and is suprising me more and more each day. His favorite song is Thunderstruck by ACDC( this is not a joke) He even says Thunder every time he hears the music- and specialists are telling me he has hearing issues-- I DON"T THINK SO! he knows the words to HEY YA and Thunderstruck and can sing it! He tells me to push him in the swing and he kicks the soccer ball on command. My little fighter is defying every odd! That is why I was disappointed when the doc told me he was still quite hypotonic. I thought we fixed it, I thought all of the activity and therapy and gymnastics took care of it. I thought when I was told initially that it was life long that it did not apply to my son. I thought some how I was going to go to the neurologist and he was going to marvel at my son and say-- well Alex has beaten it, you have won!! So yes, despite my happy exterior and positive attitude, I am hurting inside. I am filled with wonder and worry for my little boy. I also know that Alex has two parents that love him more than anything, and will give up anything to assure that he gets all that he needs. I believe in my heart that the MRI will be fine, I also believe that yes, he has this condition, but he also has the heart and spirit of a warrior and will not accept any limits! I love my little trooper more than anything- You should see him dribble the ball- QUITE a sight-- " Athletics and physical activities will always be hard for your son," as told be numerous therapists--- I say -- Someone forgot to tell him that!!

Breakfast with Coach U

well this morning I had the opportunity to have breakfast with one of my favorite coaches of all time. Mind you... I have had alot of them, but this man ranks number 2 sandwiched between Mr. Curci and Bob Turner. All of my other coaches have been soccer coaches and were always very nice to me, but these three men taught me how to be a better person. Mr Curci- well besides being a great friend and surrogate father, is just to special to put into words. Bob Turner coached me on travel team for only about a year, but made a lasting imprint. He cared about his players as human beings not just superior athletes. But the Coach who is right behind Mr. Curci is Coach Uhrich. I always loved running for Coach U, but it was not until I became a High School coach myself, did I begin to realize what he did for me. I did not even start running until winter track junior year. Now we had an already established strong team, and instead of just relegating me to the status of other athletes who ran track to keep in shape for their main sport, he gave me a chance. He allowed me to be a part of the top relay teams and participate in high profile events. yes- I had to earn my spot, but he saw that I had talent and pushed me. There were other second sport athletes that were never pushed. He also put up with the fact that I would have to leave meets early to go to a soccer game or whatever. Do not get me wrong, I would not miss a race, i just would not get to stay for the marathon Saturday at jadwin gym, watching all of the other athletes get their turn. When I decided to run cross country my senior year, he and the team welcomed me with open arms. Even though, I was going to eventually take someones spot. I just knew I ran, I liked being part of a group that won meets, I never knew how they scored them etc. As the season went on, there were 7 of us that would practice for the big meets. . Although I ran to better my time and for the team to win, it always took a back seat to soccer, we ended up winning the State Group III title that year. i remember bringing home my medal and showing my parents but never realizong how big of an accomplishment that was until I became a coach. Coach U has won 8 of these championships! What still is most astonishing to me is how he was able to keep the peace between all of the girls on his team, especially when an outsider like me came in. That is the mark of a great coach. One who is able to get the best out of each and every player and keep them happy at the same times. Seeing him today brought back those great memories. HS Soccer- although a team sport, I played for me, trained for me, and scored for me . While running Cross Country I was one of 7 runners that scored in a race run by individuals, even though I was not the number 1 runner, I still felt like an integral member because of my teammates and Coach. He taught me how to be a team player. Coach U knew that having the top runner was not going to win a state title, but having 5-7 runners who were very good would. He trained us and inspired us, I believe he taught each and everyone of us. Thanks Coach U-- for breakfast and for the life lessons!!

How ironic?

Well yesterday, I experienced a big dose of irony. I am reading Dylan's notes from his folder and there it is... A note from his kindergarten teacher saying that she is pregnant and is due in early June. I immediately thought... How could she?? Couldn't she time it so she had her child over the summer so my son would not have a substitute for his final month of kindergarten? Wasn't she thinking about the educational impact of her leaving, on her students? Then the biggest sense of shame hit me... I have done this 3 times. 3 times I have left my students mid year to leave them with a substitute for months at a time. How could I be upset with her? What kind of person am I? Look at what I did to my students. I guess this is the price we working women have to pay. Ms. Snyder is going to learn the cruel reality of a teacher mom.... My children or my students?

Santa Claus is coming to town

This is my very favorite time of the year. My kids are so excited for christmas, it is just phenomenal. I hope they like all of their gifts. My class is trying to sleep right now, I am not kidding they are really trying to sleep. We are studying states of consciousness and we have discussed that many teens are sleep deprived. We will know if they need sleep if they can fall asleep in here. I have shut off all of the lights and we will conduct an experiment to see how many kids in my period 9/10 are sleep deprived! My guess is that 7 of them will fall asleep, who knows. 1 week until christmas, I cant wait. Alex has another ear infection, he and John were back at the docs today. His tubes are still in so I cant understand how he got another infection... oh well. We have his neurology appointment next week. So I will update you all(mom) on his condition. I have a few gifts left to buy, so I am going to hit the mall on my way home from school today!!

Can a mom be replaced?

Well the past few weeks there has been quite a shift in the Haar household. I found out a lot about my husband and his ability to do many of the typical mom duties. Last week all three of the kids were sick. It started with Alex coughing a lot on saturday, and then John decided to take him to the docs on Monday. He even dropped off the prescription and picked it up and gave Alex his nebulizer 4 times per day! Then Dylan gets sick on Tuesday, so he loads up the car, drops Makcenzie off at school and proceeds to take Dylan to the doctor with Alex in tow. John finds out that dylan too has a double ear infection and needs antibiotics, so again he does the entire pharmacy thing by himself, and medicates the sick kids each day, and still remembers to pick up Kenzie from school each day... I am sure you know where this is going, I got an email from mackenzies teacher saying after her nap her temp was 101. Since it was 15 minutes before dismissal, they did not call home... But yes-- The trifecta, was about to take place, ALL 3 with ear infections and Alex also had bronchitis. John has to take Makcenzie to the docs with the other 2 with him. This is no small feet even for the most experienced mom, yet he passed with flying colors. He even made the judgement call to keep her home from school on Thursday because he thought she was coughing a bit too much and her mucus was still green. He made the call!!! So anyone reading this would say that he has earned his mommy stripes this week. But there are so many other subtle changes that have taken place especially regarding his charge, Alex. For example.. Only John does the nebulizer, he knows how to get Alex to take it. He told me that Alex likes twix bars too, and now has concocted a high calorie protien shake for Alex to drink. When Alex gets upset, he cries daddy, daddy , daddy. I have to admit to beging jealous at first( I am still a little jealous but oh well). He tells me what books Alex likes him to read, and has really taken his new job seriously. Guess what I have learned through all of this... Men, if given the chance, can do the job of a mom. Mom just has to be out of the picture, so they get the chance. Ladies... go away for an entire day( 8 hours) or a weekend, and let your husband take over. Do not leave them any instructions( nobody ever left you instructions right?) They will figure it out, and probably love every second of it like we do!

Thanks

I love thanksgiving. It marks the beginning of the Holiday season. My kids get so excited looking at all of the lit up houses and christmas decorations, it is awesome. They can't wait until Santa comes and are excited at the prospect of any gift. They are at an age where the wrapping paper and the thought of a gift matters much more than the gift itself. I could buy them all toys from the dollar store and they would still be happy. That being said, I purchased Dylans Heelys today(60 bucks!) and I got mackenzie a disney princess cash register that teaches math! It retailed for 30 dollars and I got it for 12.00 the disney store was having a one day sale- it was great! So we do have a limit this year. 150 per child and nothing for each other( maybe 30 bucks max), but that is it. Christmas will still be great and we will all be happy, healthy, and together so that is all that matters. I am thankful for a lot this year, some of the few things that come to mind.... Alex's therapists, they have been wonderful and he is doing great. MY husband, for being such a great father. Alex now looks for him first at the gym pick up, and asks for daddy every morning. Yes I am jealous, but thats what happens when one parent is home and the other is working! Dylan.. for getting an outstanding report card. mackenzie for always making me laugh, she has something about her that I just can't put into words but she is truly.. one of a kind! My mom, for always answering the phone at 645 am. I am thankful for all that I have and more. I love the holiday season!

Lots of words!

Well I think Alex is really loving his time with daddy. he is always happy and no longer has separation anxiety when we go to the gym. He has now increased his vocabulary to about 30 words or so. It is amazing, John has helped Alex in so many ways. he says slide and swing. he asks to go out and play, it is amazing! If only he would eat better, but baby steps are fine! Life is much less hectic and easier. I am loving having my spouse at home whicle I am working. it is just awesome! John takes Alex to the gym every day. they go to open play gym 2 times per week, in addition to his gymboree class, so they keep quite busy. Grandpa Jack has been over most days to help out when it is time to pick up mackenzie at 130. Mackenzie refers to these days as most days... as in most days grandpa will be over! Jack has been great, due to his willingness to sit at our house for 30 minutes, we have not had to alter Alex's nap schedule. Alex still gets to nap from 1230-330! All is well in the Haar household

Teacher Convention!

This is by far the best four day vacation of each year. On the first day of school all teachers( that are normal and have lives!!) look at the calendar and circle it. We are all thinking that yes, we can get through september and October because November is a great month. besides June it is the greatest month of the school year. We have 2 four day weekends! Tiime to do things, and just hang out. Some actually go to AC, but most do not. We look at it as a well-deserved 4 day vacation. By the way- I thank wholeheartedly all of those teachers that do go to AC, because of you... we keep getting these 2 free days off! So keep gambling down there and have a blast. I for one will be doing the normal mom activites for the next couple days. I am training a team tomorrow though- cant pass up 90 dollars for 75 minutes worth of work!, but thats about it. One full week next week and then another 3 day week. I love November

Four years old!

My little girl will be 4 tomorrow. I can't believe it. She is the smartest, cutest little girl, and already has 2 boyfriends. Just ask her, she loves Sean Michael and Joey. She is so funny. Tomorrow she will open up her presents, we got her an easy bake oven and a six pack of princess shoes. I even told her she could have ice cream for breakfast tomorrow. It is amazing how time flies. Children grow so fast before your eyes it is amazing. She keeps telling me that once she is 4 , she will be pick and will stop sucking her thumb. She also will go off the diving board this summer. To her being 4 is such a big step. Happy 4th birthday Mackenzie!!

Mr. Mom

Well it is official! As of today my husband is a stay at home dad for 3 young children. I checked in with him today to find that he successfully fed and dressed all 3 kids and had them packed in the car at 7"15 am. He dropped mackenzie off at pre-school, then Dylan to Kindergarten. He then took Alex to the gym from 8-845. When he got home Alex had physical therapy at 9am-10am. They went to the park from 1015-11am. Thats all I know now. But John has to make him lunch and then pick Mackenzie up at school at 130. I am sure Alex will nap from 2-330, so John will not have a minute alone to himself! he is looking forward to the challenge. he knows it is no easy task to be a stay at home parent, and is looking forward to spending alot of quality time with the kids. I am tired just thinking about his day!!

Panic Attack!

Well i never thought I would have a full blown panic attack but here goes... Last week I started getting chest pains and shortness of breath out of nowhere. I even left my spin class early on Sunday because I wanted to get aspirin in case i was having a heart attack. So the on Tuesday, I called the doctor and he did an ekg on me and said that I seem to strong to be afflicted by anxiety. he said that I handled jail and a marathon, and thought my chest pains were due to pulling a chest muscle. So after a week of being scared to death about my husband and kids. John had a student threaten to kill him( yes the kid is 11 but has gang ties!!) the kid went at him with a stapler and then keyed up our car with it. Not normal kids right!! The kid only received 2 weeks suspension. Do you believe it. He will actually be placed back in my husbands classroom. Then I founf out that this kid has a younger sibling at dylans school and sees John pick up dylan every day. So yes a gang kid knows who my son ( 5 yrs old) is. I am paranoid, and tell john to pick up dylan 15 minutes early each day. This kid is suppossed to be on house arrest mind you, and is probably going to jamesburg jail next month. His own mother wants him in jail. What does that tell you. So John is miserable at work and I am paraniod that something will happen to him or my kids. I still have Alex's hearing eval on Weds and it is just so much stress it is unbelieveable. So I read the paper on Thursday morning about the Asbury school shooting and it did it. I started walking around school like a zombie and then proceeded to lose my breath and my throat felt as if it were closing. I got my friend Bob to help me and we called my mom. I was faint and dizzy and incoherent for about 1 hour. It was aweful. So there it was a full blown panick attack. i teach about these things but have yet to experience it... not anymore. They suck. Then I take Alex to the docs on friday and the doctor sat with us for 40 minutes. I love her and proceeded to tell me that Alex also has macrocephaly( abnormally large head) and it could all be realted to this still yet to be named syndrome due to his static encephalopathy. She also thinks Alex will be better off with one on one care. 18 months to 3 yrs is critical for language. Since John hates his jobs this is an easy decision.. he can stay with Alex and the kids and look for another time while on leave. If he finds another job-- great and if not atleast he still has one if needed. the only downside is pulling the kids out of the school that they are in and Dylan will have to change kindergartens mid year. And we have to live on my salary for a about 6 months. I think it will be okay. Who knows. I guess anyone who ventures to read this can see why I had a panic attack. there really is just so much the human body can take both mentally and physically.

ON a roll!

Well my soccer team has been on a roll. We have won the last 4 games and went from 1-6-1 to 5-6-2 in the last 2 weeks. Winning makes everything so much better and easier to deal with. The kids have been great. Dylan and mackenzie both love their respective schools and Alex is very happy at the babysitters house. It is starting to get a bit easier each day. Today after practice, i am going to casa comida with a bunch of work friends. What can be better than a great margarita and a big plate of nachos? I can't think of one thing! My mouth is watering already! I know I have to miss the gym today but I will make up for it tomorrow with 3 minutes of hard cardio followed by 1 hour of a weight lifting class, and Sunday with 60 minutes of Spin. Spin class is the hardest class ever, you feel like you are going to die during it and when it is over, you leave a wet sweaty mess, but I love it! I cant wait for teacher convention week. 4 glorious days off- what will i do with myself! I do not know as of yet but can't wait to find out

What else can one take??

Well Monday was suppossed to be a lovely day off. Alex had a check up at the ENT to see how the tubes in his ears were working and for a follow up hearing test, We all figured that fluid was the reason for his flat tympanograms, so I did not even think of it as a major deal. Well it is a major deal. he still has a moderate hearing loss. We have to get one of those sedated hearing tests where the put electrodes on his head to see if he has senory neural hearing loss. The doctor said he might need a hearing aid as well. How much more can this poor little guy take. Well actually it is me, his mom. How much more can I take? I do not know. Between teaching, coaching, and being a mom life is difficult enough, please do not let him be hearing impaired. Both for my sake and his. he already receives alot of therapy as it is. So now we will get speech 2 times a week from early intervention. Thats it for now

Busy, Busy, Busy

Sorry I have not updated my blog in a while. i have been so busy that I barely have time to breathe. This fulltime teacher, fulltime coach, and full time mother thing is just too damn hard. I thought I was superwoman and could do it all but I am slowly realizing that it is a bit too much. Dylan has homework 4 nights a week, and has soccer practice on thurday evenings. They have gymnastics and soccer on saturdays, and Alex has gymboree on Saturdays. I am so exhausted I can barely keep my eyes open at school today. Getting 3 children dressed, fed, and out the door each morning by 630 is really taking its toll. I love the weekends but they are jam packed too. My schedule for Saturday is as follows

745- kids are dressed, fed and ready to go to the gym with me. 8am arrival at the gym. 25 minutes of hard cardio followed by 60 minutes of weight lifting. I leave the gym at 925 to drop Dylan and kenzie off a gymnastics at 930. John will then take Alex to his 10am gymboree class. At 1030 I pick Dylan and kenzie up and then take them to soccer practice for my HS team, which goes from 11-1230. We then have to be a Bodman Park for Dylans soccer game by 1245. His game starts at 1 and ends at 2. I will finally arrive home around 3-4 pm after we eat. Some break huh? There is one silver lining though.... Samantha is coming to babysit so my husband and I can go out and party on saturday night. I plan on going out until 2am( I hope), but guess what will still be calling at 6am-- Alex--- so guess what, I can be a Zombie on Sunday until my practice at 4pm... and then its another week of craziness. My life is very difficult

9/11/06

I started my lesson today talking about Flashbulb memories. These are the memories that are so powerful that they are etched in your mind forever. The morning of September 11 2001, was so sureal. I can still remember that day as if it were yesterday. I can remember exactly how I found out. I was off periods 2 and 3. Sp basically I did not have students from 851- until 1029. This is when everything went down. After the first tower was hit, the school was unusually quiet. Little did I know that a major life changing event was happening. When I heard that a plan hit the tower, I just assumed it was a small plane and there were very few casualties. Then I heard about plane number two. As soon as that happened I realized something was terribly wrong. I went into my friend Annes room, who was teaching her period two class like nothing was out of the ordinary. Little did she know. She had a radio in her room , and I told her we had to listen. So there we were glued to the radio for 90 minutes. The kids could not bellieve it was happening. I remember hearing a womans voice as the first tower fell, she was in disbelief as she said, it is all gone, it's all gone. I can remember feeling such a profound saddness, that it is impossible to measure. John and I both showed up at the babysitters house to pick up Dylan, just so we could hug him. I remember thinking that I need to protect him from all of the saddness in the world. I can remember for the first time feeling vulnerable, really vulnerable. September 10, 2001 was the last day that we as americans were completely free of horrible thoughts of a catatrophic event happening. Now we have that twing of fear every time we watch the news, ot get on a plane. September 11 changed the nation, but it what does not kill us, makes us stronger, so lets hope that old adage rings true. These were just some of my thoughts about today

The toughest first week ever

Well I just completed my first full( well almost full, we had Monday off) week of school. Tuesday was just nuts. Having to have 5 unique individuals dressed, fed( yes a pop tart does count!) and ready for school was a challenge. John and I started our first full week with the kids in class ready to learn bright and early Tuesday morning. Besides having between 25-31 kids in each class. Yes you read that correctly. I teach 5 classes so i have about 130 students this year. Last year I had about 95. My work load has increased dramatically. When it comes to grading their work, I will be putting in an extra hour or so with each assignment. We do not get compensated for what we do at home either, but that is a totally different subject so we can discuss the fairness of my job at a later point. I have soccer practice each day until 430 or so, by the time I get home each day it is between 530-6pm. Next week will be ven worse because I have a game scheduled on Monday, Tuesday and Friday. I wont make it home Monday night until well after 7pm. The kids will already be in bed when I walk my tired ass through the door. ( Away games are the worst). My baby sitter told me on weds that her father in law passed away, and his family plans the wake for Thursday and the funeral for Friday. I know it is a shot gun service. She is shocked at the planning too. Basically I am left scarmbling for a babysitter. My sister in law came up huge today. I attended the funeral service while she watched Alex. It was very nice to see Alex playing with his little cousin Jake. It was so starnge when Jake smiled at me when I walked in the door, because all I could think of was my brother Justin. In that one instant it appeared Justin was reborn as Jake. She did a great job, she managed the fights over toys, and both kids were happy when I got back. Thanks again Elana, we will be calling again soon! Now I have 2 hours of [peace until I have to get back to school by 230 for practice, then I come back home. again and as long as Dylan and Kenz napped after school, I am taking them to my HS football game. Dylan is so excited. Home- school- home - school---- That is our life!!

No more Monkeys jumping on the bed!

I wake up John at 830 this morning like usual and then proceed to tell him that I am leaving to go to the gym to take a spin class. As he is brushing his teeth, I am waiting in Dylan's room with Alex and Dylan who are on the bed. Then out of the blue I see Alex start to tumble and then ouch... his little head hit the headboard. I immediately assume he is going to get an egg on his head, so I scooped him up and started to apply the ice pack. As I opened my eyes, I saw blood(bright red!) everywhere. I could not believe it. As I was trying to control the blood I ask john for the phone and proceed to call 911. There was no way we could have driven ourselves with having to apply pressure on Alex's head and the 2 other kids. It would have been too much. The police arrived at my house within 5 minutes. They offered to drive Alex and I to the hospital because the first aid was busy. So we hopped in the police car. As we were in the police car, I called my plasticsurgeon( hey who would have known having one of them would come in handy!), and was told that the PS on charge would take care of Alex. The cut was in the middle of his forhead, so I wanted a PS to do the work. After 2 hour in the hospital, Alex had his wound sewed up. i would guess that he had a few stitches underneath the skin and about 6-8 that we will have to have removed in 8 days. We had to swaddle him and hold him down during the procedure. That is the hardest part about being a parent. Can you imagine having to hold your 16 month old down while a doctor is about to sew him up like a pair of ripped jeans? The fact that Alex's wound was in the middle of his face, right at his eye line could not have made it any easier for him, thats for sure. After screamimg his little head off for about 10 minutes he fell asleep. Right in the middle of his stitches. He lay there sleeping so the doctor could finish the job undisturbed! He proceeded to sleep for 3 more hour or so and is now playing with his big sister like nothing happened! What a trooper. I learned an important lesson today. Childrens songs hold important messages. 2 little monkeys jumping on the bed, 1 fell off and bumped his head, went to the doctor and the doctor said.... No more monkeys jumping on the bed!

September in like a Lion!

Well September did not makes it's entrance in silence. It came in with a bang. On the first I had my first day of school for the 2006-2007 school year. Dylan is starting kindergarten and had his orientation, and Mackenzie also had her pre school orientation. My babysitter raised her rates and we had a huge storm. Wow! Now the tough part begins. After being home all summer, it is such a shock to go back to work in September. besides rasining 3 kids, I now have to caoch a varsity soccer team, plus teach 125 students the ins and outs of psychology. All of this in a mere 24 hours! The first month of school is always the hardest , there is always an adjustment and the kids are a bit out of sorts. Once October hits it gets easier, oh wait... then the sick season rears its ugly head. Okay... It is always hard. These are the times where I wish I could stay at home and just take care of my kids, and not work so much. But I guess if we want to eat and drive, I have to work. Oh well there is no sense complaining about it.. It is starting. hello wor world.. here I come!

Tubes again

Well tomorrow my youngest is getting tubes in his ears. I know it is a simple procedure, but just the thought of Alex under general anesthesia is enough to make me nervous. it is weird, all three of my kids have already had a surgical procedure done. Alex is doing so well, that I hope draining this fluid from his ears is the last hurdle we have to face. We have already faced so many obstacles with Alex already, He tackles them one by one, and it will probably make him a very strong person one day. So tomorrow at 630am I bring him to the surgical center and then it is done. Hopefully we will be home by 11am and by 3pm Alex will be 100%. We had our first scrimmage and the girls did quite well. Despite the fact that it was raining the girls played well and ended up winning. Dylan was dissapointed that he could not stay and watch the game, but it was raining pretty hard so he went home with his siblings and dad. Dylan and Kenzie waited patiently for me to get home to take them to Mac Donalds. We instituted Macdonalds mondays in our house. Believe it or not, it minimizes the trips to the fast food giant! So now the kids get to indulge in their favorite happy meal, one time per week. This also eliminates them asking for Mac Donalds everytime they see one. It is a win-win situation. Hopefully all will go well tomorrow, and I need to get ready for the first day of school on Friday( what a bad way to end the week).

It's coming to an end

Ahh the lazy days of summer were not so lazy for me this past month. I had 7 soccer camps, plus my HS season has started and we do long 4 hour sessions or doubles on most days. Most days I am on that soccer field from 7am until 8 pm. Well no more. Sure I still have to be there at 7am with all the kids in tow. They love going to the field and it is great exercise for them to run around. We will be on the field this week from 7am-12noon. There is only 1 night that I have a session, and that is Tuesday from 5-630. It seems as though I wont even be working lol. This summer has been crazy busy but fun. Today I discovered a couple things. Alex loves hot dogs. He ate 1 and a half hot dogs. I had to peel off the skin and chew some of it for him but he loved it. Dylan was hitting baseballs with his father in the back. His grandfather gave him home plate and let me tell you... he has been in the back yard hitting the ball all night. He has great eye hand coordination. David Wright... look out!

What a busy week

Well if last week wasn't a rude awakening that our lazy days of summer are coming to an end, I do not know what is. I have had it pretty easy this summer up until last week. Before soccer camps started in full force, I could get all 3 kids out the door by 745, get to the gym by 8 and be out of there by 945. Then we had the rest of the day to figure out what we were going to do, it was bliss. Well not anymore. Last week I had camp from 9-12noon and then again from 6-9pm. Mackenzie had dance camp from 115-315-- all of the camps are in middletown so everything was atleast a 25 minute drive. my husband and I were like 2 ships passing and trading children along the way. We just had to make sure that the kids were constantly being supervised and nobody was left at home like macauly caulkin in home alone. And no mom.... we had the correct head count each time. Alex figured out how to walk up and DOWn the stairs by himself, so that is quite the milestone. hopefully we wont have any more tumbles down the stairs. Next week I also have camp for my high school team all morning and afternoon, and a youth camp at night. Atleast for the HS practices the kids can come. School will be here before we know it and a 515 alarm will be reality( hey alex's 615am wake up is bliss). Right now I cannot fathom how we will have all three kids and ourselves dressed and ready for school by 630, but we will figure it out again, we did it last year. Until then, it is soccer at 730 am, with the kids in tow for the most part. there is nothing like fresh air to tire them out!

AHH! Alone at Last!

I am sitting at the computer at 7:15pm by myself. Nobody is screaming mommy and I am completely alone. This hardly ever happens. My daughter is sleeping at my mothers so she can hang out with my neice Samantha. Thanks Michele!! and my son Dylan is at wall Stadium with my husband and father in law. I put Alex to bed at 6:45, so I am free for the rest of the night. I just finished my lean cuisine for dinner-- yes Elana I stock up on them too! I love the panini's! I finished reading the paper uninterrupted, so over all this is a great night. I see a 9pm bed time in my future, which is just fine with me. I had a glorious day at the beach yesterday, I did end up drinking a bit to much but that is okay! We had a blast. We have another camp next week. well actually two. I have one in the am and then another at night. The following week I still have the night camp and HS soccer begins. Summer is almost over. it is flying by, but it has been terrific. Dylan can't wait to start kindergarten, and mackenzie pre school. Alex will go back with the babysitter. The guilt of full time employment, coupled with soccer is starting to creep in. September and October are always the toughest months for all of us mommy teachers, but when you coach a varsity sport, it is even tougher. My kids love being on the field with me so it is worth it. In addition to that, we never have to worry about how we will pay for the christmas presents. Coaches get their checks in my school on Dec 15! Great timing BOE. Well thats all for now. I am going to do some channel surfing on the TV, and probably call my mother for the 10th time today!

The blazing heat

The heat lately is unbelievable. I had soccer camp this mroning and it was so hot. I can't believe I used to be able to play high level soccer in 100 degree weather. I remember doing it,and it never being too much a bother. Coaching in this heat is just too much, nowadays. I guess this is what happens when one gets older. Funny... last week we had a relay race against the campers and LOST!!! It was depressing and embarrassing. Hey, even ay 36, I feel as though I am still 26 and in top soccer-like shape, able to out run anyone in my path. I guess 1 decade and 3 babies makes a difference, I will not hear any of it... I have to start training even harder so i can out run those 18 year olds!! I guess this moment happens to everyone. You feel as if you are still in your 20's, you think you look like your still in your 20's( but I know-- we dont, but it is fun to pretend that we do), but you are not. Your body lets you know that all of the time. I guess as we age the heat becomes tougher to deal with. So besides watching out for the pets and the elderly... watch out for all of those that forget how old they really are.

What a difference a nap makes

Today I had a nice 90 minute nap. Actually the entire house was sleeping between 1-3pm today. it was so nice. I have soccer camp tonight, so I will get there very refreshed and ready to go. Dylan and Kenzie are still sleeping and it is already 3:45! They love going to soccer camp and can't wait to go tonight. They can just run around outside in the heat for 3 1/2 hours and it does not even phase them. they keep begging to stay. I was telling them last night.... look everyone has left so it is time to go now. Must be nice to be young and playing is the most important thing ever! Well I got to go get ready to head back to camp tonight. 3 hours of entertainment for Dylan and Kenz!

another day at the beach

We have been going to the beach quite a bit this summer. Dylan gets braver and braver each day. he wants to go out where the big waves are and since there is no way I will let him brave the waves solo, I go out there with him. Boy was it rough today. He loved getting knocked down and then got right back up. It is funny, as a kid I can remember swimming out as far as the life guard would allow us to go( were there even lifeguards??), but here I am, a mom, and made dylan brave the waves with me or his dad in front of the life guard stand. Mackenzie does not like to go in , she just runs in a little and then runs out to beat the waves. Alex likes the beach as well, we had a very nice day! Today we all took a nap from 245-5pm. The whole house shut down! i think the beach knocked us all out. We had steak for dinner tonight which is my daughters new favorite food. I think tomorrow we will go to my mothers house to go in the pool for the day, hopefully it will be nice out. It is now a little after eight and even with a long nap. Mackenzie and Alex are catching Z's and Dylan is about to go to bed in about 5 minutes. He keeps checking the scores with his father. I think John loves having a little co pilot. I can't believe we have been out of school for over a month already! Boy does time fly when you're having fun!

Dancing with the stars... just wait!

Well Dylan and Kenzie went to the Leonardo beach party on Thursday night and I learned alot from them. First and foremost, they do not get their dancing skills from me. I have absolutely zero rythm, I mean none at all. The two of them were dancing fiends. they even went on stage at the end of the night. Everone was looking at the little 3 year old in a polka dot bikini, thinking she was Brittany Spears. I kid you not, my little daughter was shaking her bootie. I was a riot. Dylan mastered the chicken dance and was so upset when the party was over. I thought we would stay about 90 minutes... Nope, we were there right through the last dance and clean up. Dylan was so upset when it ended that he was crying. It was 9 o'clock and my kids normally go to sleep by 730. They had a blast. Great job Middletown Parks and Rec!! I guess shyness will not exist in the Haar household. So far I have two big Ham's on stage, and I am sure Alex will be right along with them. If Kenzie is still dancing like that at 13, I am in trouble, well her father is!! It was a great night. On another note.. My kids did awesome on the advanced placement exam. 31 out of 33 passed. 15 received 5( highest score), 13 received a 4( like a B), and 3 received a 3( c), the other 2 received a grade of 2 unforunately( that is the equivalant to a D, and they will not recieve college credit). I am disappointed that 2 students did not pass, but 31 out of 33 is quite an accomplishment so I am proud of it. I was hoping for 90%, and did better than that! There are very few times as a teacher where you can really see how you are doing, and this is one of them! I am thrilled! Next year though the goal is 100%. It can be done!

Poor Baby

I am sitting here listening to Alex scream at the top of his lungs. Now one may ask, why am I letting it happen.... Well the speech therapist who charges 175.00 an hour is here working with him, and she like all of the other therapists likes it best when mommy is not around. So I guess I am used to the crying by now! So today is the first day of the private speech lesson, EI evaluated him in April and indicated that speech/feeding was necessary yet we are still waiting on a therapist. So now I am doing it once a week private. I am sure my insurance will reimburse me all of 62.00 for each session, oh well what are you going to do. Well the screaming has stopped and Alex is working on a nice big grape lollipop. I would not be screaming with a lollipop in my mouth, but he does not want to learn to chew and eat so he is fighting it! John took Dylan and Mackenzie to the beach, so I am just hanging here trying not to watch what is going on. I just hope I did not just pay 175 for him to eat a lollipop!!

My Mom MVP hands down!

Well this weekend my husband and I went to Ocean City, Maryland. For those of you that live in jersey and have never been, I highly recommend it. When a weekend is all one has they want to make the most of it. Ocean City is the perfect escape. We dropped the kids off at 830am on friday and were having a beer aboard the ferry at 11am. We had an awesome weekend. We layed on the beach, had numerous cocktails, walked the boardwalk, and just really slowed down and enjoyed each others company. We celebrated our 6th anniversary on this trip and it was splendid. We would not have been able to enjoy this weekend if it was not for my mom. She took the kids the entire weekend and allowed us to get away from it all. It is no small task for someone to take care of 3 children who range in age from 1-5. She knew my youngest still woke up in the middle of the night f0r a bottle and still signed on to take them. It was the ultimate win-win for my family. The kids had so much fun that the two oldest did not even want to come home, and we had a blast. My mom also served as an inspiration to me as I got my belly button peirced. I know I am 36, but what the hell, if she could get a tattoo a few months back, why can't I get my navel pierced. So I went for it and am very happy with my new jewelry! My daughter loves it, so if anyone who reads this( mom, dawn, elana) knows of where I can get a stick on for the belly button to appease my daughter, please let me know! So mom, we toasted our mimosa to you Saturday morning, as the weekends MVP!!

A weekend alone

My husband and I are leaving first thing tomorrow morning to Ocean city Maryland. We are dropping the kids off at my moms and then heading down the parkway. We are hoping to catch the 11am ferry and have a drink in hand by 11:15. WE have not been away alone since 2003( thanks mom again for that trip!). We plan on making the most of the glorious 48hours that awaits us. I hurt my back and neck on Monday. I do not know how I did it, but it hurts like hell. It was not helped last night when I had to try an excercise class. I thought I would be okay since the class did not involve any weights, but I think it made it worse. So due to my crazy addiction to the gym, I now have to suffer an extra day. Hey there are worse things a girl can be addicted to! I love going twice a day though. The time to myself to just sweat is kind of nice. So until my neck heals, it will be strictly cardio. Running does not seem to bother it, it actually loosens it up. I heard from two of my former students and they did well on the AP test. I was happy. so far we are 2 for 2. the 2 I found about about both passed. One with a 4 and one with a 5. Students can pass with a 3, 4 or 5. 5 is the best though. My goal for the class is all 4's and 5's. I really hope they remember to email me when they get their scores, BUT WOULD I REALLY REMEMBER MY TEACHERS HOME EMAIL ADDRESS OVER THE SUMMER-- PROBABLY NOT! So thats it. Off to Ocean City tomorrow to hand on the beach and sip Margaritas!

Food Glorious Food

One may think that I am obsessed with food, and they would probably be right. I mean, I have always loved to eat for as long as I can remember, I even joke around that I workout so much to support my love of eating. It turn out my third child has a problem with swallowing. This would explain his poor weight gain and lack of eating. My husband, Alex and I went to Children's Specialized Hospital in toms River for Alex to get evaulated again. This time by their feeding team. The poor little thing is getting evaluated every other day, but he has not complained, he is a trooper. It was nice to travel with just my husband and little one, Dylan and kenz were happily swimming at momma's so it was just the three of us. We get to this hospital and it is a great child friendly facility. The waiting time was minimal and the doctors were attentive. We met a developmental pediatrician first, who spent a full hour with us then it was off to the feeding team. We met with a Speech Pathologist, Nutritionist, Occupational therapist, and a Psychologist. Alex got to try and eat all sorts of foods, and behaved in the typical fashipn that he does at home. he eagerly wants the food, yet can't really figure out how to eat it. It must be frustrating for him. Right now he is holding an Oreo, desparately trying to eat it and most of it ends up on his face. So the feeding team told me to stregthen his formula( Yes he is 14 months and is still on formula, but instinct was correct here, thank goodness for the cosco brand) and to keep giving him small soft foods and get him speech/feeding therapy 1-2 times per week. So there you have it. More therapy. I mean I am not complaing because it is summer time and we have the time to take him to thrapy 6 times per week!, Come September this will be hard. I wish i could trade places with the little guy. I could give him my ability to swallow and eat the most fattening foods out there and he could eat whatever he wants. Dieting would be a breeze that way, until then though, I must keep trying to fatten him up!

The Beach

Well we have gone to the beach the past 3 days and it has been absolutely wonderful! The kids love it. It is funny Dylan does not seem to care that the water is only 58 degrees, he wants in! Alex's physical therapist suggested he walk on the beach to improve his balance and coordination, and he is doing a great job. he wants in the water too! Mackenzie is afraid of the sand crabs, but loves the beach as well. It is so great to watch the kids in the Ocean. It is very nostalgic for us. Before kids... John and I spent every nice day over the summer at the Avon beach, we have not stepped foot in that sand for 2 years, but we are back. Spending time at the beach is something that will bring out the inner child in anyone!

Intuition has no place.... or does it?

Intuition has no place in psychology. yes this is what i tell my students the first week of school. I tell them that in order for psychology to be considered a science one must throw intuition out the window. I start my post this way because I truly believe that because of my interest in neuroscience, I was able to help my son. Sometimes I find it very difficult to leave my children each day during the school year, but, ironically my youngest son is reaping numerous benefits because of my job. My job forces me to stay current with the new ideas and trends in psychology, and yes the study of neuroscoence is fascinating. Years ago one believed all mental and physical problems were a result of ones upbringing or prenatal environment. Yet the 1990's proved otherwise, brain chemistry is where it is at and researchers are right. So when Alex was diagnosed with hypotonia I knew there was a problem in the brain. So I refused to wait 6 months to see the neurologist and booked one that was farther away but had an earlier appointment. Intuition told me not to wait.. and the recent Zimbardo video about the plasticty of the brain in early childhood development! So I went and was told the PT is working so keep it up. At Alex's 12 month visit I told the doctor how he does not eat. My doctor, whom I love and think is great in MOST cases! told me to take the bottle away and he will eat. For the first time in my career as a parent( yes it ia a career, one that you don't get paid for yet work your entire life at). I chose to defy his order. Something told me that Alex wanted to eat, but just could not. So I kept him on the bottle and formula all of this time. I know formula is pricey but I want him to get his nutrients! So fast forward to the neurology appointment today. The Neurologist told me that it was a good thing that I kept giving him the bottle, because his hypotonia affects his facial muscles as well. He is not eating because he can;t figure out how to coordinate his mouth movements due to his low tone! He has his feeding assessment in a couple weeks and hopefully the specialists can help us out here. I am sure they can. Let me tell you this, I would bet on Alex any day of the week. He has been progressing at an amazing speed. He has a will that you just can;t teach. It is funny, I thought that about him all along. He is the type of kid that looks at limits and thinks that is where the starting point is. I can see it in his eye. Intuition may have no place in the science books but it has every place in the parenting books. Moms and dads, go with your first instinct, it is usually the right one!

Cars!

For the first time as a mom, I accompanied my children to the movies( Minus Alex). We went to see the movie Cars. It was a great movie. They both loved it, but I have to critique the length, a 2 hour movie is very long for young children. Mackenzie would have loved the movie to be about 1 hour shorter, but she is only 3. Dylan, on the other hand, would have preferred a 90 minute movie. I see why I have waited so long. If one of them has to go to the bathroom, everyone has to get up. I had to constantly remind them to not kick their feet at the seat in front of them. I also had to tell Mackenzie that she could not dance in the aisle. The movie was great though, but attending one with a 3 and 5 year old is no small feat! Dylan is obsessed with Cars though. He has a Cars bathing suit, PJ's, undies, and all sorts of toys!! It is cute to watch your children pick out the bad guys, and laugh outloud while watching the movie. I am glad I got to experience it with them. I will be ready for another movie next year!!

Dylan and Kenzie graduate from Cyberventures

Yes, I sign my children up for every type of class there is. So when I inquired about cyberventures a few months ago, Miss Samantha told me that they could do a trial class. After one class, they informed me that they loved it. So I was then told that it would be 225 for Dylan and 200 for mackenzie. So I plunked down 425.00 for 8 weeks. Keep in mind they only go one time per week for an hour. They did love Cyberventures but 425.00 later and they are still not computer wizzes, but they have this lovely certificate.

Alexander's hospital pictures look at his IV

this is when Alex was told that he could go home. The poor thing had to spend 36 long hours in the hospital!

The not so lazy days of summer

Well this week marked the official beginning of summer. My schedule has not lightened up one bit, it just changed. For example... I was out the door today with all 3 kids at 7am. We went to Perkins for breakfast. Yes I brought all 3 to Perkins by myself. I let my husband sleep because he was up later last night. after Perkins I arrived at the gym at 8am. I stayed until 9am and then went home. Once home, Alex took a quick nap and John and Kenzie went to the gym. I left my house at noon, dropped Mackenzie off at gymnastics and picked up Hunter, to take him and Dylan to Kindercraze at Dorbrook Park. I dropped them off at 1pm. After that I went to Marshalls to by the kids summer sandals, and attempted to go bathing suit shopping at California sunshine. I passed on the hundred dollar bathing suit in favor of at 24.99 polo suit at Marshalls, a much better bargain. Since I forgot to eat lunch, I was getting a little hungry, so I stopped at Panera to get some onion soup. I ate the soup then got Mackenzie. She and I then went to Target. then to Dorbrook so she could play at the park before we picked up Dylan and Hunter. So at 4pm, I loaded up the car and took Hunter home. Once at Hunters house the kids started playing in their big backyard. I let them play until 430 and then took them home. By the time I got home, they had to eat. I fed and then bathed the three of them( John is doing all of the laundry as we speak) and now it is 640 and I have a few seconds of down time. So it is still crazy but just a different type of crazy. I would not trade it for anything! Happy Summer

World's Greatest Dad

The kids had to get John a shirt that said that for father's day. John actually humored Dylan and wore it to the track with his dad and brothers. It was a boys day at the track. Since it is fathers day, it gives me a chance to reflect on the ways my husband has grown since becoming a dad. John always tells me that the births of his children were the most special days of his life, the wedding day was good as were the 3 Stanley cups by the Devils, and the Red Sox comeback of 2004. John has taught the kids many things, I will attempt to list as many of them that I can think of here. Dylan and mackenzie really do believe that all fathers do the laundry. They know it is daddy's job and mom never touches it. They know which teams to root for in all professional sports. Dylan knows more about the various professional teams than I do. They know that daddy does not like peanut butter, he is allergic to it, but they can like it if they want. mackenzie likes peanuts, Dylan does not( the verdict is still out on Alex). All's the kids have to do is ask daddy to play catch and he is outside in a heartbeat. They think that daddy's do the dishes after dinner and always put them to bed at night with mom. There are so many things that they are learning because of him. Since we have a very egalitarian household, they have learned that yes boys like blue and girls pink. Barbies are for girls and trucks are for boys, but they really believe that everyone cooks, cleans, and takes care of babies. This is nice. John has helped out Dylan and Alexander's future wives! Overall John is a great daddy and the kids are lucky to have him. Perhaps the greatest part is that John also has the entire summer off to play with his family!!

A night to myself... well sort of

John had to go to his graduation work party tonight and Dylan and Mackenzie are sleeping at my mothers, so that leaves me and Alex... home- alone. Well to be honest, I am bored. I already finished eating dinner, I finished the cookies and cream ice cream in the freezer( sorry dylan and kenz!) and basically have nothing to do. It is 7pm and Alex has been asleep for the past 1/2 hour, so it is all me! I realized that although this is my first full day off, that I miss being busy. I am so used to running around like a mad woman after 3 kids and teaching young adults, that I do not know what to do with myself when I am alone. Trust me.. I could clean the house, or wrap the fathers day gifts but I am not doing that tonight. I will wrap the gifts tomorrow and the cleaning part, well if you know me... you know that is not going to happen. I would rather work an extra few hours to pay someone to clean my house, well I already do that and she was here today so the house still looks decent. Trust me by Monday it will be a complete mess, and then I will have to wait another 10 days for a decent looking house again. Thank God for cleaning ladies. So it will just be John, Alex, and I for the next 18 hours or so. I am already thinking about how easy the moring will be. There will not be any fighting, just me and my little guy. We will go to the gym at 8am, stay till 9. he will take a nap, then we will hit gymboree and then back to my mothers, back to reality. Having just one child is wasted on the new parent. Kind of like youth is wasted on the young! Because I can still remember when it was only Dylan, and I remember how the days seemed incredibly more hectic, more demanding than anything I have ever experienced before. I can remember looking at moms of more than 1 thinking. How do they possibly do it? Do they have a secret nany hidden somewhere? I do not understand. When mom's of one ask me if three is hard... I tell them, the first is always the hardest, it just is. On a night like tonight with my one sleeping baby in tow, I think... this is nice, peace and quiet. I can do anything I want with him, I just tote him along with me. Then I think back to March of 2001- Novemeber 2002. I remember that everything seemed so difficult, and the thought of Mackenzie coming frightened me. I never thought that I could handle more than one. Now I think the Peace and quiet frightens me, because I do not know what to do with myself. So it is back to the freezer, I think there is more ice cream in there somewhere!! I will do a couple extra miles tomorrow. I will have the time!

So Summer is officially here

Summer has started for me today. The kids graduated yesterday, and the usual suspects went out for drinks at a co-workers house. it is amazing the difference between those with young children and those with no and or grown children. For starters I was the only one there with a child under 10. The non-parents can drink... Let me tell you. I could not believe how much booze was consumed by a bunch of teachers, it was amazing. Now I was part of this group about 6 years ago, which coincides with the time I got pregnant with my first. I remember how much fun it was to go out and do whatever and have no worries. What is difficult to understand however is how come, even when a babysitter is ready and we do not have kids for the night, that we still cant go crazy.; I guess it is the thought of them that stops us at the second and definately by the third drink. yes.. the thought of them, waking up at 5am and needing constant attention! Well even with three children in tow, the lazy days of summer are officially here. Tomorrow, I plan on waking up, going to the gym and then taking the kids to the park. Alex has therapy at 1130 so it wont be a long day at the park, but it will be nice. I am taking my sister home tonight, she has spent the last 2 nights with us and has really helped out with the kids. Parents that decide to get pregnant again after they have a 12 year old girl are onto something. They get to share the work! They have a built in babysitter. I am lucky to have her, she is great with the kids. Well off I go back to my moms, so the kids can go swimming. Hello summer, here I come!

A horrible weekend

Well the weekend started with so much promise. After our exams on Friday, a bunch of us went out drinking after work and had quite a good time. My husband called me at 315 and said that he would take care of picking the kids up so I could hang out with my friends! It was such a nice gesture on his behalf. Well reality hit when I got home. Alex had a stomach virus. He was up all night on friday. We had to change him and the sheets every couple hours, but he seemed to be doing better on Saturday, Saturday night was when it went downhill. He started vomiting and could not keep anything down. By early Sunday morning he was listless, so I put a call into the doctor and went to the ER. They admitted him and gave him an IV drip. We were in the hospital from Sunday morning at 730 until Monday at 430pm. It was a very long weekend. I am back to work today. My mother came up big time and took Dylan and Mackenzie over night on Sunday and took a half day off today to take care of Alex! I told her I would bring her lunch! Well thats it, hopefully my next blog will be more of a happy one!!

Horrible weekend

Well the weekend started with so much promise. After our exams on Friday, a bunch of us went out drinking after work and had quite a good time. My husband called me at 315 and said that he would take care of picking the kids up so I could hang out with my friends! It was such a nice gesture on his behalf. Well reality hit when I got home. Alex had a stomach virus. He was up all night on friday. We had to change him and the sheets every couple hours, but he seemed to be doing better on Saturday, Saturday night was when it went downhill. He started vomiting and could not keep anything down. By early Sunday morning he was listless, so I put a call into the doctor and went to the ER. They admitted him and gave him an IV drip. We were in the hospital from Sunday morning at 730 until Monday at 430pm. It was a very long weekend. I am back to work today. My mother came up big time and took Dylan and Mackenzie over night on Sunday and took a half day off today to take care of Alex! I told her I would bring her lunch! Well thats it, hopefully my next blog will be more of a happy one!!

Suprising last day

Well yesterday was the last full day of school for me. The last time, that I will see many of the seniors that I had in class this year. I, just like every other teacher on the planet looks forward to the last day of school. It is the beginning of summer, the beginning of freedom, the sun, the water, lazy days and nights( I still plan on going to the gym twice a day though!). I was actually quite sad at the end of the day. This was the first year of teaching my new subject. So each class ended with hugs and thank you's. Period 2 especially suprised me. Some of the kids in the class that are not very vocal normally, made my day. These girls were so complementary, and they have know idea of how much it meant to me. You see, normally a teacher can tell which kids love the class, hate it etc. I thought these kids thought the class was okay, but nothing great. The kids in my school are very critical of their teachers as well. They( especially the AP and honors kids) complain if a class is too easy or to hard, if the teacher is not doing a good job etc. These kids are our best critics. And for them to complement me and my teaching style, meant so much. This continued throughout the day, and I left school feeling happy, but sad. We ended the year with either a breakfast or a pizza party, and I will miss all of the students greatly. I want to thank all of my students( I know they will probably never read this) for making my life as a full time working mother of three, easy. One may think... How could it possibly easy? It seemed easy because it was fun! Yes, my job, the one I get paid for, is a lot of fun. Then again I find a grueling workout to be fun, and juggling all of my responsibilites fun. So on the last day of school, I realized that if you go through life with a smile on your face then, you will probably have fun. I guess this is like the James Lange Theory, we smile so we feel happy! So start smiling everyone!

You're Beautiful!

My daughter Mackenzie will tell me out of nowhere a minimum of 5 times a day that I am beautiful. She will say "Mommy you're beautiful" I will then say, Mackenzie.."You are beautiful too."These exchanges are so nice, and makes me realize how sweet little three year old girls are. I am painfully aware that these years are going to fly bye, and soon Mackenzie will rely on me less and less, and then one day she may not tell me every little thing, and she will grow up, but I will always have in my memories the days where I am the center of her universe and she loves her mom more than anything. Mackenzie is a beautiful little girl inside and out with a heart of gold. I hope our relationship will always be this close and as she grows she will continue to say " Mommy you are beautiful, and I will respond with You're beautiful too!

A diploma and cast removal-- what a day

Well today my oldest graduated from pre-school. The ceremony was very nice and my son looked very handsome . I must say as I saw him walk down the isle, my eyes filled with tears. I saw my baby officially become a school aged child. This is a big jump. It makes me reflect on the past 5 years. These past five years have brought me more happiness than I have ever imagined possible. I love my children more than anything in this world, and I think the sun rises and sets on them. As they presented a slide show of the children. It had a picture of each child and what they wanted to be when they grew up. Well most of the boys wanted to be police officers or firefighters, not mine. Dylan wants to be a teacher, He informed me that he wanted to teach big kids like mommy and daddy. Although my husband made the joke by saying, you wont make any money... haha. I said to him that we should be flattered that our child thinks that highly of us. He agreed, here I am thinking that I can't compete with a race car driver or ESPN, and he wants to be like me! I am so proud of him, words can't express how I am feeling at this moment. I decided to reminicise a little about my oldest, the one who made me the mom I am. March 21, 2001 at 3:41pm Dylan entered the world. The devils won that day as well so overall it was a great day. We had a little difficulty getting the feeding thing established, well actually I did, you see Dylan wanted to eat every 90 minutes around the clock for his first 5 months! He was not using me as a pacifier either, he weighed 21lbs at 5months! not bad considering he began at 7lbs. To all you mothers out there... yes I worried deep inside that maybe obesity would be in his future but at 5 years old he is 42lbs and is right at the 50% mark, so there is nothing to worry about. Dylan was the happiest little baby. He smiled all of the time. He began walking at about 12 1/2 months and has been running ever since. He went on a cruise at 14 months, and had surgery at 15months. He gained a little sister at 19 months, and a little brother when he was just 4 years old. Dylan has been a terrific big brother. Around 2-4 years old DYlan was obsessed with Thomas the train. I must have 5000 dollars worth of trains and track. Hopefully Alex will become obsessed too, this way I won't have to buy too much more. Yes I know they have new ones each year, but only about 5 or so, so that wont be too bad. He went to pre school at 3 and has loved every minute of it. He really loves school. Dylan is smart as a whip! I am not just saying that as his mother, he is brilliant.( I know every other mother out there is saying the same about their child!, and you know what... to all of us mommies, our kid is the most brilliant and the best, we are not objective at all). So which brings me to today... Diploma day. I can see why parents get so worked up for graduation day at HS. Even though their child walks across that stage for a period of 10 seconds at most. They are making that leap in life. As they walk across the stage they are changing right in front of their parents eyes. In HS they are officially entering adulthood, in my case, he is entering "real" school. He is growing up, and this fact brings tears to my eyes. Happy tears because he is happy, but sad because as he continues to grow, I can't protect him as much. I can't shelter him from all of the hurt in grammar school. It is bound to happen at some point and he has to learn how to deal himself. Right now I am the center of his universe, I must admit that I like it this way, but know soon it will come to an end. He told me today that I will always be his best girlfriend, and I said DYlan one day when you get big like daddy, you will find another person that you will love more than mommy. He then said to me... No mommy, I will always love you bestest! And I said that I will always love you, your brother and sister more than anything else ever too!( In my case this is the truth, in his who knows!) Dylan taught me how to be a good mommy and taught me how to love unconditionally. I can still remember looking into his big brown eyes when he was about 8 weeks old and becoming overwhelmed with feelings for him, and realizing that the greatest love one can have is for their child. So as I reflect on the days events, I think about that walk across the stage. One brief moment in time... that I will remember forever, then I imagine my other two children completing that same walk, but somehow things will be easier for them because Dylan led the way!

lessons learned from the reunion

So the reunion was great. I learned alot last night because of it. Some of things that I learned from the evening included... How to drink a few drinks without going over board. I had 3 absolute and clubs and it was the perfect amount. Thirty something adults can be a lot of fun to be around. Everyone seems to remember HS fondly, and has funny stories to tell. My husband can drink a lot of beer, and handle it quite well. My mother realized that watching 5 of her grandchildren at once was not as much fun as she thought it would be, and that the day after a big party is such a let down. I think perhaps one of the greatest lessons learned is that although everyone seemed to be pretty happy with their current lives, it was a wonderful opportunity to go back in time and we all have an inner 18 year old just waiting for the perfect opportubity to come back out!

John's 20th High school reunion

Well we went to John's 20th reunion and had a blast! It was so much fun. The turnout was incredible, and all of the people were very friendly. I will write more later.

Why is everything planned on the same day?

It seems that I can go through an etire year with very little planned events, then boom I get invited to 3 things on the same day. I hate this. On Saturday a bunch of players that were on the soccer team at Rutgers are going to Christa's house in Denville, my best friend in the world invited me to hang out at her house the celebrate her birthday, and it is my husband's 20th HS reunion. I am excited about going to his reunion, since we went to the same school and we know a bunch of people that are going and the date has been planned for quite some time, but I wish I could go to the other events too. Why do they all have to take place on the same date? It is extremely frustrating. So after school today, I am going to the gym and then getting a tan at one of those spray on places! I can't wait to see how it looks. After that I plan on picking up a soup and salad at Panera for dinner, since my husband wont be home. The French Onion soup there and bistro sald is awesome! An added bonus .... My mother is keeping the kids over night! So I can sleep past 6am... YAY!! I will probably still pick them up early by any normal persons standards, but it will be so nice to sleep in a bed with my husband without any other little feet present!! I am looking forward to tomorrow's night out, and I will report back on Sunday

The Home Stretch

Well I only have 9 days of school left. I can't believe how fast this year has gone. I will only see my seniors in first and second period 1 more time. So from now on it is pretty much smooth sailing and then a few exams and clean-up. This year was quite a roller coaster ride. Soccer went pretty smoothly in August and then my team had a pretty decent run. Then I started hitting the gym like a mad woman and finally have lost all of the baby weight. December was tough because we had to swallow Alex's diagnosis and our days became filled with endless doctors appointments and physical therapy. Dylan has done extremely well in preschool and loved karate and gymnastics which were all new activities this year. Mackie has also excelled at gymnastics and is looking forwrad to her dance camp this summer. mackenzie still loves her dresses and wants to be a princess, yet she was playing football and soccer with a bunch of older boys tonight. Luckily it is 2006 and a girl can be both a jock and a princess, so she can have the best of both worlds. Alex began walking and Dylan fractured his wrist, so it has been quite eventful. We will end this new year with Dylan graduating on Monday and getting his cast off. Makcenzie is getting ready to begin pre-school in the fall, and hopefully Alex will be running. I am looking forward to not have to get ready by 6am every morning. I will still have to wake up by 6am, because that is when the kids wake up, but I get to hang in my PJ's for a while before hitting the gym each day. I really can't wait for the much-deserved break. One of the most underrated aspect of teaching is that there is a beginning and end to each year. Every year is a new beginning, and there is a clearly defined end. All students and teachers need this, it provides a much needed break. The home stretch is just and end to this year but there are many new possibilities for the next one! Come August, I will be looking forward to my new beginning. All jobs should have beginnings and endings, I think people would be much happier.

Memorial Day

Well today we actually set up our lawn chairs and walked outside our house for the annual Memorial Day parade. Although we have lived here for the past 6 years, this is the first time we actually set up shop outside our home to watch the parade. The kids were very excited and had a good time. Alex was a bit out of sorts because of the noise from the fire trucks so his nap was cut short. It was a very nice day and the kids seemed to have a nice time. Since none of the napped I am hoping that they go to bed at 630pm. I know Alex will be in bed by 6 tonight, but the others, I am not sure. The school year is coming to a close so only a couple weeks left!! Thats it for now

I am only 13 months! Somebody forgot to tell me that!

So we are all downstairs watching little einsteins and I look over and say how's your brother and they say... Mommy Look at Alex! So I look and see him jumping on the couch with his big brother and sister. Somehow he scaled the little chair and climbed his way onto the couch. They are all jumping. So as I call his name in a panic he looks at me with the biggest smile. As if to say... Mommy I am having fun! Then Mackenzie and Dylan say in unison. Mommy do not worry we will be the mommy and daddy and Alex is just playing with us! So basically now I am sitting here writing turning my head every two seconds to see where the baby is. You know what?? He is just fine, smiling away with his brother and sister. I hope they always take good care of him and make sure he is having fun. They however do not realize that he only started to walk well within the last week. To them once a baby is walking he or she is one of them. So I have to go before the three of them start wrestling!!

My dinner date

So last night my friend and I had a couple of beers and some food( well I had some food, she did not eat much because her husband was off today and cooked her dinner, normally one might think that Basil's food has to be much better, but her husband is a chef at a very good restaurant in Red Bank, and I have had his food... and it is great-- Mom- he is the one that makes those portobello mushroom baguettes!). So of course the only thing we discussed all night was the babies, well the bar tender was involved in the conversation because he is married to a teacher, has a 10 month old and watches his son while his wife works. So he understands too. We discussed at length what is better a daycare center vs. home day care. She wants to have someone come to her house 4 days per week. It is the most expesive of the options but, she will ask the person to do light cleaning when the baby is sleeping. Now that sounds like a plan!! I then told her about all of the inappropriate comments that she is going to get at work. Like .. How do you leave the baby home all day, don't you miss her?. I could never do that I had to stay home, Are you going to keep coaching> How do you coach with three little ones? My comment to that is... ASK every single MALE teacher the same question and ask them how they do it. Why is it always just assumed that men can still coach and teach but women can't. That bothers me so much. There are a few mommy's out their that still coach and teach, but we are not very numerous. I really do get asked on a daily basis when will I give up coaching. I want to say to all of these people. I will give it up when I am good and ready. Right now I am not. I love working with the girls and coaching my school team. Plus the extra cash pays for Karate, gymnastics, gymboree and whatever else the kids want to do. So I do not know what caused that latest rant but it has been on my mind! I am looking forward to August and starting a new season. I know it will be hectic especially with physical therapy appointments, Karate and gymnastics, and yes Dylan and kenzie will be playing soccer on saturdays, but we will figure it out, we always do! So my dinner date with my girlfriend was fun, and she still is not ready to go back to work next week. She would not be ready next month or year either. A mom is never ready to leave her baby all day, but sometimes it is a necessity, so please do not make inappropriate comments, and make her feel worse than she already does.

A new favorite TV show

Well at 5:45 this morning, my kids were downstairs watching TV and I look up and see ESPN on. I then asked my son Dylan if he wanted me to change the channel so they could watch Winnie the Pooh . He promptly said no, that he wanted to watch the games. So here we are at 5:45 am and Dylan and Mackenzie are watching recaps of the MLB games last night. It was too funny. It dawned on me that Dylan was starting to turn into his father!! Dylan now can tell me most of the teams in MLB, and the NHL. He even noted that Barbaro was a race horse. How does a preschooler tell the difference between a race horse and a pony? He is growing up so fast. Mackenzie is asking for a Red Sox dress. I am going to search ebay and see if I can find one for her. She already has the back pack and hat and needs the dress. My son is growing up so fast. Today it is ESPN and tomorrow who knows what he is going to want to watch... the news, prime time shows, or worse. I would like to get a few more years out of Nickjr. but I get the feeling he is going to fight me every step of the way! So ESPN it is!

Why do I obsess so much?

Sometimes I wish I would just take the advice of my mother and stop googling. I find myself lately looking up various websites about children with Hypotonia. Of course all of it scares the hell out of me. Most recently I found a message board site on Parentsplace devoted to children with hypotonia. As I am reading each and every introduction and story about their little ones, it frightens me that maybe my son will come down with some other symptom that someone else has. I mean he already qualifies for 2 days a week of PT, 2 days develomental intervention, and 1 day a week speech. He just turned one and needs therapy almost every day of the week. I wonder though if I am simply looking through rosey colored glasses when I say to myself, well they just ranked him low so he could qualify for the help.( I know I never gave a kid a lower grade then he/she deserved because I wanted them to get extra help). So I really do wonder sometimes what the future holds. Someone told me that he is lucky to have me as a mom because I will do whatever it takes to assure that he has every opportunity available. That comment made me think... All parents worry and all parents want what is best for their kids but how much therapy can one take? I know that sometimes I cut sessions short if Alex is crying or I think he has had enough. Then again I keep questioning myself, what else should I be doing? Have I left any stone unturned? My mother keeps telling me to stop looking up information and to stop reading about every possible genetic or random disorder, but I can't help it. She is right, I have become obsessed... I am obsessed about finding out everything I can to help my son. I am obsessed about working out everyday. It is ironic that around the time I found out about Alex's conditioned, I became a gym rat again. I think having 2 obessions is good for me, it keeps me balanced! I guess I just answered my own question regading my obsessions!

3 weeks left!

I can't believe that yet another school year is coming to a close. Just knowing that there are a full 10 weeks vacation this year is quite exciting. Okay well not exactly 10 for me. I start soccer camp on July 23rd and am pretty much at work from that point on, but it is still a nice long break. I could not imagine having a regular job where there is not end and no beginning to each year. Each year I get to make a fresh start, and come September I am ready for my routine to change, even though I cry at the beginning of each school year and wonder how I am going to be able to leave my precious children with someone else for 8 hours a day. But this post is about the teacher me, not the parent( as if I could actually spearate the 2). This year was fantastic. I got to teach a new subject which I loved, and I had great kids. I mean I am lucky, the kids I am teaching are smart, considerate, and just a pleasure to be around. Which gets me thinking about next year. The kids I get next year can't possibly measure up to the ones I have this year( I say this every year and every year by May I say the same thing, the point is, the kids are always good!). This year was just a lot of fun. My students do not realize this but they made my hectic life a lot easier than it should be. They allowed me to enjoy my job tremendously and I hope that they found my class worthwhile. Well right now we are in major end of the year mode, we are watching One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, which is perhaps one of the greatest movies of all time. The kids seem to be into the movie,( well except for the 3 girls in the back who were too busy chatting about prom weekend, but the rest seem to be enjoying it)or atleast humoring me. Hey what more can I ask for, I have classes with all juniors and seniors. What did you want to do in highschool on a nice summer day? Which brings me to my next point. These kids ( well the seniors) have 3 weeks left, thats it. I want to tell them to savor every last minute of it( they wont), because they have the rest of their lives to be an adult, so why not take advantage of being a kid while it is still socially acceptable to do so. The one thing that any educator realizes quick is that it does go by so fast. In a blink of an eye there are only 3 weeks left and a new school year begins with a new crop of seniors!

The Green Monster

Well my husband would have made John B. Watson proud. He has officially turned our kids into diehard Red Sox fans. I actually do not think that this was his original intent, I think if he had his choice it would be the Mets, but what happened in October 2004 stayed with my kids. Since Watson was convinced that he could make a child anything with the proper conditioning, my kids would be great study material. I mean it is 2006 and we all know that are children come into the world with their own set of DNA which makes them unique, I would think even Watson himself could not argue with the brain studies of the 1990's. However, parents can influence their kids in so many ways it is unthinkable. My daughter asks me to tell her the story about the friendly green monster every night, and my son proceeds to tell me that we do not like the Carolinas team because they beat the Devils. It is a riot. Today all 3 of them are proudly displaying their Red Sox hats. Mackenzie just got a new one from her daddy, along with a Red Sox back pack and thinks that it is the greatest thing ever. She now can wear it with the lovely dresses that momma had just bought her. You would never think a kid could get so much excitement from a hat! They are sponges and absorb everything we as parents do or say. the whole notion of do as I say and not as I do.... well that does not work. They see and mimic everything that we do. They have taken a liking to watching sports with my husband, and he has successfully implanted in them his thoughts and feelings about the various teams in the different professional sports. It is funny, I have finally just figured out the teams we like and do not like, and my kids figured it out in record time. Kids really do learn quicker than adults. I told the kids I was taking them to the park today and Mackenzie said.. "Mommy can we go to Fenway Park?" I told her that we could not go there today as Dylan interjected that it was in Boston which is way far away! I told her that maybe this summer or next year we will take a trip and she can meet the monster, and Dylan said that he wants to see the Red Sox beat those Yankees 11-0. I looked at him and said.. Dylan if that happens you will be going to that park every summer!

latest pictures from Alex's first Birthday Party and Dylan's pool party

Why is it so hard?

Mothers always feel so much guilt about everything. All moms have to agonize over every decision that they make while pregnant and after. For example when a woman is pregnant all of a sudden she has to have a cost/benefit analysis sheet to figure out if she should eat that chocolate chip cookie she is so desparately craving, and moms have to decide whether they should always kiss each boo-boo and make it all better or tell their children to tough it out on occassion. Perhaps the hardest decision for a mom to make is whether she will go back to work. For me and many of my friends, it is a no brainer. We have to go back to work. NO.. not because we want too( although adult company is a very nice perk), but because we have to, yes we have to. If we want to keep a roof over our precious children's heads then yes we have to work. I know many are saying, it can be done, living on one income is doable. Try coming to central jersey with your clan and buying a home. With the median price of a house currently at 380,000, and just try it on a teachers salary.If you want to live in a decent area, not one riddled with crime scene only tape, it is impossible!( If you have a large inheritance, this does not apply, or if your spouse makes well over 6 figures.) So why must we feel so guilty? I do not know but we do. A friend called me today for advice, you see she had her first child in November and she is going back to work June 1st. She is beginning to freak out. She has crunched the numbers, with a 330,000 mortgage for a 2 bedroom townhome( see I told you it was expensive to live here) she has to go back... She has stayed out as long as she could, she took out a home equity loan to pay for 6 months of COBRA so she is done. She will be officially entering the work force. Since I have been through this three times, I think she thought I would tell her that it is easy, but no self respecting mommy would lie like that to a friend. I told her it gets easier, but it is never easy. I told her that she would learn to get ready in record time, and that the 45 minutes of free time each day is underrated( Prep). The guilt however has a way of rearing it's ugly head just as you get into the swing of things. For example, school starts in September, so the teacher mom feels horrible those first few days in September after the full summer with the kids, then once everything starts flowing smoothly, flu season hits. Children get sick and average of 8-10 times per years while young. So do the math, it the sick season is October-April, you could be looking at every 3-4 weeks. Each time the children get sick someone has to take off. The dreaded decision( my kids vs. my students), ( my job vs my husbands), then the one that hurts the most, it tends to happen at the end of the year, when you have exhausted all of your sick leave( or should I say your childs sick leave, because moms know to never take off when they are sick because one cannot possibly waste a sick day on themselves), and the decision is my child seems like they are getting ill vs. I will get docked a days pay. That is the worst. So I probably scared my friend even more about going back to work. I told her though that she needs to ignore all well- meaning comments, such as I don't know how you do it, my daughter just had a baby and just had to quit her job because she could not leave her baby. ( that and her husband is the assistant to Bill Gates!) So now anytime I get these well-meaning comments, I simply say it is very hard to leave my children, but they do like to eat, so I have to work. Feeling guilty just goes with the territory of being a mother. Just think one day your children will be parents and they will understand.

Why is weight such a big deal?

Well this morning there was a note in my mailbox at school saying they needed me to bring my first period class to the health office. They needed to record the height and weight of the students. Now I have a class with all all girls and 2 boys. They are all juniors and seniors in HS and like many young( and middle aged etc) women they are very concerned about the stupid number on the scale. Now the girls in my class are beyond pretty and not one of them have a weight problem, but I know the anxiety that ensues when one is about to get on a scale. I told them that I felt bad because they did not know and could not prepare( ie: where the lightest outfit possible and save their 16oz of cofee until after the weight in). It is funny how even 17 and 18 year old girls understand this. The boys were not too bothered, they just saw it as a minor inconvience not an event that causes the arousal of ones autonmoic nervous system. The sad part is, I wish I could tell the girls that there would be a day that they would never think about that number on the scale, but that day probably will not come. I am still waiting for that day, I am probably more neurotic than the 17 and 18 year olds in the class. Why are we so obsessed with weight? Why cant women take a lesson from their male counterparts? I doubt we will ever be able to answer that question. I hope my daughter does not obsess, but she likely will, because all girls whether that number is too high or too low have their own reasons for not liking it.

9 hours of straight sleep

Yes, it is true... I slept for 9 hours last night. I went to bed at 815 and woke up at 515 this morning. It feels so good to be well-rested! Well Dylan got his cast on yesterday, he picked a very bright orange. The doctor told him that was bob the builders favorite color and Dylan was excited. More good news.. Only 3 more weeks to wear the hard cast, so if the weather continues to be poor their should not be much of a fight about not going into the pool! Alex continues to walk everywhere and is doing just great. He goes to Physical Therapy today and I can't wait for them to see how far he has come. Kenzie has her new yellow dress on and has informed me that she wants to go dress shopping so she can wear a new one each day. I then said to her that I do not have that much money, so she told me to go to the bank! Smart girl. Well thats the update!

Happy Mother's Day

Well I must say the mother's day gods were smiling upon my family this morning. First of all, I woke up at 7am. Yes you read that correctly 7am. My kids were still asleep! All 3 of them!!! I put on a pot of cofee and then did my daily weight check. The appointment with the scale was quite positive, a full 1 lb less than yesterday. Any female that is not genetically blessed knows where I am coming from. It was going to be a great day. The kids got up within 5 minutes of my wake up and we went downstairs to play. I woke my husband at 8am and left for the gym at 815. I did 20 minutes of hard cardio and then hit the weights for 60 minutes. I got home around 1015. I met my mom and sister at the mall, and picked out a very pretty shirt with the gift card from my husband. I kept trying to persuade my mother to buy me a pair of shoes but she was not budging. She was too busy spending thousands on my OTHER sister( yes the favorite!). I am just kidding, we are only talking hundreds here! I am in love with the shoes she bought for HER though! The next stop was Casa Comida. I suggested it and my suggestion was well- recieved. I had a marg and a burrito with a few nachos and it was great. I am now home with my kids. I am glad I got to spend mothers day with my mom. Mother's day should be a week long though. Moms work long and hard for very little thank you's and no money( Moms actually lose money, see I was trying to swindle my mom into buying me those red Steve Maddens). This goes on forever and at times seems like a long thankless job, but it never is. Being a mom is so rewarding. Having children that you would die for is amazing in itself. Most children do not ever realize the amount of time, energy, money, and love that their moms have given them. Many will never realize it, UNTIL you become a mom. Once you become a mom you suddenly empathize with your mom, and want to thank her for every hug and kiss etc. You also can see how your mother in law was over protective of her son, because moms only want the best for their kids and never want to see a sad face... ever. So Mom Thank you for everthing, and I guess I should get those red patent leather Steve Madden pumps for you.( By the way since we are the same size, can I borrow them?)

My little princess

When I had my second child, I was so excited to have a little girl. I love my sons dearly and think they are the best, but the clothes for a girl are just great. Once my daughter was born, I immediately think, mini-me. I know we are not suppossed to think like that but with dirty blonde hair and green eyes, she looks like a twin of my baby pictures at the same age. So I deck her out in pink adidas, and give her cute matching out fits containing shorts, jeans and skirts. I even find little shoes that resemble mine. I just assumed she would forgo the barbies, holly hobbie, and cinderella, for the soccer ball, base ball and basket ball. Well not her, she can run and throw with the boys, but wants to be in a princess dress while doing it. She even picks out the bathing suit with the frills. Today she put on a new dress that my mother got her( yes my mom is behind this 100%, because Mackenzie is her only princess out of 6 grand children), looked at me and said aren't I beautiful, I love my beautiful new purple dress and hat. She is so excited about her new dress it is not even funny. She had to put it on for a short trip to the mall with her father this afternoon. She looks at him with her big green eyes and said.." Daddy am I a princess?" and of course Daddy said yes you are. I then said to my husband make sure to get me that fancy shirt that I want so I can wear my high heals with it. At that moment I thought to myself, yes she gets it from me.... and momma!

One is up and running and the other sidelined!

Well all I can say is that I had a rough day yesterday. As I picked up Dylan and Mackenzie from gymnastics, I looked on the floor and spotted Mackenzie but not Dylan. So as I looked, I heard. Mrs. Haar... Come over here please. The last thing any mom wants to see is her son's armed wrapped in ice and the instructors saying he needs xrays. Well I immediately went into coach mode and asked my son to wiggle his fingers, he wiggled them, so I assumed( I am used to dealing with foot injuries), it is not broken, no need to spend 3-4 hours for some ER ped to tell me it is only a sprain and to apply the standard RICE treatment. So I said to the coaches( hey I have watched Gymnastics on TV alot so I must be the expert here.) that it is only a sprain and I think he will be fine. Then when they told me that 4 of the coaches saw it happen and they are familiar with this injury and they would be suprised if he did not break his wrist, then I started to calmly panic. I never alarm a parent, I thought, I always tell them I think it's a sprain and most go to the emergency room anyway for the MD to reveal that my assessment was right. Except for the time with Katie and her broken... wrist.( So maybe I am not an expert with the hand). So reluctantly I drop the Mackenzie and Alex off with John, and Dylan and I head to Monmouth Medical. We stop at Mc Donalds so he can have a happy meal, and continue. The entire time we are there I am still thinking, it can't be broken, he is too happy. Well it was confirmed, he fractured his wrist and will be in a cast for 6 weeks. This is terrible timing as my mother's pool opens tomorrow and Dylan swims like a fish. He will have to graduate pre-school in cast, and I elarned and importnat lesson when it comes to sports and injuries.. I am no expert. On another note, my other son who is 12 1/2 months old is off and walking. I mean walking across the room. Yes I am a proud parent, I can't help it. By developmental standards Alex, since he was born a month early, would be considered an early walker( 11 1/2 months adjusted). Alex has over-all hypotonia and children with this condition normally do not walk until 18-24 months. Again I would also question this diagnosis, but specialists have confirmed it, so he is my miracle baby. He works his little butt off every day. All of this physical therapy has paid off. Shore Rehabilitation in Eatontown, I can't thank enough. My baby is just like everyone else because of them.That is really what all parents want. Mackenzie loves her new book. "Winners never quit" by Mia Hamm. This is great, it is her favorite book! It also teaches a great lesson. Dylan has a baby root canal at 11:15( poor boy, he cant catch a break), I will try and write more tonight.

I couldn't do it alone

As I ponder the complexity of my daily existence, I wonder myself, as do many others as to how I manage teaching full time, caring for three children under 5, that are involved in Karate, Gymanastics, cyberventures, and gymboree. Alex also has physical therapy twice a week, and I train 2 soccer teams every weds from 415-715. Somehow I manage to get to the gym 6 days per week for atleast an hour. I know how I do it.... My husband! As much as I would love to be home everyday with my children, I know that if I ever decided to do that my husband would have to pick up an extra full time job. That simply would be unacceptable. My husband and I are both teachers which means we share vacations, weekends and yes.... summers! The most importnat thing though is time. Although we start work at 7am( yes 7am), we are finished by 3:05( His day is longer than mine!), that means we BOTH share the responsibility of shuttling the kids from activity to activity. He is often the lone father at gymnastics class or gymboree and never does he complain. He never calls it babysitting, he knows his job and does it with a smile. Weds are particularly hard on him, because I do not get home until 745, so he finishes a long day at work and is responsible for picking the kids up, taking the 3 of them to the park, making them dinner and getting them cleaned up and ready for bed. I know many women have to make a choice between staying at home or working full time, it is such a tough choice to make, and each has its own unique challenges. I feel that although on paper it looks like I am super-woman, I am not because I have superman to help! When I get home tonight, my husband will have the baby in bed and Dylan and Kenzie in their pajamas, we will sit and eat together and and talk about our days. He does not realize how much he does for me and our children. He simply does what feels right. He puts our needs before his own and never complains. So all of the things I do personally and we do as a family is made possible because we split all responsibilities 50/50