A night to myself... well sort of

John had to go to his graduation work party tonight and Dylan and Mackenzie are sleeping at my mothers, so that leaves me and Alex... home- alone. Well to be honest, I am bored. I already finished eating dinner, I finished the cookies and cream ice cream in the freezer( sorry dylan and kenz!) and basically have nothing to do. It is 7pm and Alex has been asleep for the past 1/2 hour, so it is all me! I realized that although this is my first full day off, that I miss being busy. I am so used to running around like a mad woman after 3 kids and teaching young adults, that I do not know what to do with myself when I am alone. Trust me.. I could clean the house, or wrap the fathers day gifts but I am not doing that tonight. I will wrap the gifts tomorrow and the cleaning part, well if you know me... you know that is not going to happen. I would rather work an extra few hours to pay someone to clean my house, well I already do that and she was here today so the house still looks decent. Trust me by Monday it will be a complete mess, and then I will have to wait another 10 days for a decent looking house again. Thank God for cleaning ladies. So it will just be John, Alex, and I for the next 18 hours or so. I am already thinking about how easy the moring will be. There will not be any fighting, just me and my little guy. We will go to the gym at 8am, stay till 9. he will take a nap, then we will hit gymboree and then back to my mothers, back to reality. Having just one child is wasted on the new parent. Kind of like youth is wasted on the young! Because I can still remember when it was only Dylan, and I remember how the days seemed incredibly more hectic, more demanding than anything I have ever experienced before. I can remember looking at moms of more than 1 thinking. How do they possibly do it? Do they have a secret nany hidden somewhere? I do not understand. When mom's of one ask me if three is hard... I tell them, the first is always the hardest, it just is. On a night like tonight with my one sleeping baby in tow, I think... this is nice, peace and quiet. I can do anything I want with him, I just tote him along with me. Then I think back to March of 2001- Novemeber 2002. I remember that everything seemed so difficult, and the thought of Mackenzie coming frightened me. I never thought that I could handle more than one. Now I think the Peace and quiet frightens me, because I do not know what to do with myself. So it is back to the freezer, I think there is more ice cream in there somewhere!! I will do a couple extra miles tomorrow. I will have the time!