Panic Attack!

Well i never thought I would have a full blown panic attack but here goes... Last week I started getting chest pains and shortness of breath out of nowhere. I even left my spin class early on Sunday because I wanted to get aspirin in case i was having a heart attack. So the on Tuesday, I called the doctor and he did an ekg on me and said that I seem to strong to be afflicted by anxiety. he said that I handled jail and a marathon, and thought my chest pains were due to pulling a chest muscle. So after a week of being scared to death about my husband and kids. John had a student threaten to kill him( yes the kid is 11 but has gang ties!!) the kid went at him with a stapler and then keyed up our car with it. Not normal kids right!! The kid only received 2 weeks suspension. Do you believe it. He will actually be placed back in my husbands classroom. Then I founf out that this kid has a younger sibling at dylans school and sees John pick up dylan every day. So yes a gang kid knows who my son ( 5 yrs old) is. I am paranoid, and tell john to pick up dylan 15 minutes early each day. This kid is suppossed to be on house arrest mind you, and is probably going to jamesburg jail next month. His own mother wants him in jail. What does that tell you. So John is miserable at work and I am paraniod that something will happen to him or my kids. I still have Alex's hearing eval on Weds and it is just so much stress it is unbelieveable. So I read the paper on Thursday morning about the Asbury school shooting and it did it. I started walking around school like a zombie and then proceeded to lose my breath and my throat felt as if it were closing. I got my friend Bob to help me and we called my mom. I was faint and dizzy and incoherent for about 1 hour. It was aweful. So there it was a full blown panick attack. i teach about these things but have yet to experience it... not anymore. They suck. Then I take Alex to the docs on friday and the doctor sat with us for 40 minutes. I love her and proceeded to tell me that Alex also has macrocephaly( abnormally large head) and it could all be realted to this still yet to be named syndrome due to his static encephalopathy. She also thinks Alex will be better off with one on one care. 18 months to 3 yrs is critical for language. Since John hates his jobs this is an easy decision.. he can stay with Alex and the kids and look for another time while on leave. If he finds another job-- great and if not atleast he still has one if needed. the only downside is pulling the kids out of the school that they are in and Dylan will have to change kindergartens mid year. And we have to live on my salary for a about 6 months. I think it will be okay. Who knows. I guess anyone who ventures to read this can see why I had a panic attack. there really is just so much the human body can take both mentally and physically.